There seems to be an ongoing discussion around me, whether in the media, with friends, or in my own head, about what is beautiful. I know there are men out there that struggle with self-worth; I've had some of these same discussions with men. But since I am a woman, I can speak with more authority on the struggles the woman's mind faces. As women we constantly compare the way we look to every other woman in the room in order to prove that we don't quite measure up. 'I wish my hair was thick and curly like hers.' 'I wish I could wear my hair short like that.' 'I should be as skinny as her.' 'I want my butt to look like that in those jeans.' 'I could never pull that dress off.' 'I should have worn more makeup.' 'I should have worn less makeup.' 'If I were taller I'd be more beautiful.' 'If I were shorter I'd be more beautiful.' 'Her smile is prettier than mine.' 'I wish my eyes were that color blue.' I'm sure I could go on forever. This negative self-talk is completely irrational.
In Jennifer Rothschild's Self-Talk, Soul-Talk: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself, she points out the emotional abuse that you are inflicting upon yourself when talking this way. If a friend reported to you that her husband or boyfriend was saying these type of statements to her, what would your reaction be? Would you be appalled? Would you be angry? Would you reinforce that she's beautiful and she cannot allow him to treat her this way? Then why is it okay for a woman to talk to herself in such a derogatory manner?
Another point that I believe deserves some consideration is the message being indirectly sent when we determine that we are not good enough. You are created by God. The same God that made the mountains, the stars, the flowers, the rain, the birds, the sun, the oceans, and your favorite furry animal, MADE YOU! He made worlds of beautiful things that we all admire every day, you are not an exception. If God says you are precious enough to Him for His Son to sacrifice His life for you, then who are you to say that you're not beautiful? I realize this is heavy, but it is worth contemplating. When I put myself down and declare that I'm unworthy, I'm not good enough, and I'm not beautiful, I am insulting the One that created me!
Since I have had the conversation of "beautiful" with so many women lately, I ask this... What is beauty? Can you define it? And who determines what is beautiful?
The two songs I mentioned before were Mercy Me's "Beautiful" and Jonny Diaz's "More Beautiful". I have seen Mercy Me perform "Beautiful" and I love the message. Bart Millard talks about trying to raise his daughter so that she doesn't determine her self-worth by the world's standards but by God's standards. He also talks about this feeling of unworthiness and "wondering if you ever could be loved." No matter what you've been through in life "You're beautiful!" Follow that with these lyrics from Jonny Diaz and WOW!!! There can never be a more beautiful YOU!
Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight
Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are
There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you
Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead
Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are
So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight
Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are
There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you
Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead
Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are
So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl
There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you
