There is a special moment when you hear a song and it appropriately expresses exactly how you feel right then. Instantly, a connection forms with the singer, the writer, the piano player, the guitar player, and yes even the drummer, because he or she was able to express what you keep deep in your soul. And that song becomes the song of your heart. If you've read many of my blogs I have often quoted lines from songs or posted videos of music that I couldn't give proper justice with my own words. Music helps us celebrate when we are excited. It helps us grieve when we are hurt. It gives us hope that tomorrow will be different. It breaths life and death in our soul. Through music we find friends that we'll never meet who live all over the world. There is another important thing that music can do... It can change the heart. When angry, depressed, agitated, anxious, or scared, my mother has always told me to sing God a song. 'Sing Him a song and you will feel better.' Sometimes it can be as simple as 'Jesus Loves Me'; who can go wrong with that?! When I begin praising the Lord with my song, something happens to me. My mind and heart are re-focused on what is eternally important and released from the worry the temporary things of this world brings me.
My favorites include old hymns, such as 'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus' and 'Nothing But the Blood'; they are great for reminding me who my Savior is to me. I love choruses that honor the relationship I have with Jesus, such as 'Jesus, Friend of Sinners' and 'Draw Me Close'. My favorite band of all time is Mercy Me, with Casting Crowns a close second, because they call out heavily to the church to be the hands and feet of Christ. I get excited at church when we sing 'Who Can Satisfy?'The group Addison Road (even though they aren't a group anymore) has multiple songs that I'm sure some mad scientist stole from my heart while I was sleeping in order to provide them with the material to perform. And there are those days when Bon Jovi's'Have A Nice Day' is my anthem.
I'm sure I could go on all day with my favorites, but there is ONE song that always changes my heart and exemplifies what I pray my life will be to those around me. It is a chorus from my days in the youth group. I often catch myself singing it when doing the dishes. I sing it while driving to work; my heart often needs it even more when driving home. Sometimes I sing it out loud and sometimes I sing it silently. And yes, sometimes I sing it in the shower. After all, everyone sounds great in the shower!
Jesus, Be Jesus in Me is the song of my heart. What is the song in your heart?
1. Last Saturday we had some girl time. My grandma, my mom, an aunt, a few cousins, and I went to a tea room for lunch (one of our favorite things to do) and then went to a local pottery place to paint pottery. I'm not the most artistic person in the world, but I didn't do too bad. Maybe I'll get some pictures up when I get it back so everyone can see how insanely untalented I am!
2. Sunday started the Fall Revival at my church. No matter who it is, stranger or friend, when someone makes a decision for the Lord I become emotional. I consider watching someone choose to follow God a miracle that I get the privilege of witnessing and it touches a very deep part of my soul. It never gets old.
3. Let me just say... chocolate covered raisins. Self-explanatory :)
4. Work has been really crazy lately. While I still had my share of crazy this week, I was more than thankful for somewhat of a slower pace. It was also a huge benefit as I was slightly absent minded this week.
5. Finally... Cooler weather!!! The news stations have been teasing me with cold front after cold front but it never drops below 80. I'm sorry but it's still a little too warm to start wearing my boots in 80+ degrees; therefore, it's not really a cold front in my book. My Friday was made perfect with 60 degree weather AND rain. I not only got to wear boots but I also got to wear a scarf! Bring on FALL!!!
Give thanks in everything, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18
I am a 30-year-old woman. I am a Christian. I am single.
I have a lot of experience being single. Depending on the day I have different thoughts and feelings about it. One day it could mean I'm strong and independent. Another day it might be that I'm lonely. I have experienced triumphs in this journey and I have had my share of losses. Yet the question remains, 'why am I still single?'
As I've entered my 30's this question seems to haunt me more and more. I get really tired of attempts people make to give me advice based on what happened to them or what worked for them. My path in life has always been unique to me (partly because I refuse to follow the crowd ;)
Don't get me wrong; I'm not complaining about my life. I am blessed with many great friends that love me and support me. I have a family that always takes care of me. I have a career that I enjoy. But if there's one area of my life that the devil manages to attack me with the most, it is that I am single. I have had many discussions about this with other single Christian women; I know I'm not alone.
However, every time I sit down to write something to launch discussion on this topic; fear overwhelms me. I'm not sure how to approach it without being completely vulnerable. But I suppose that is the point. When I began this blog I not only wanted to give myself a creative outlet, but if anyone chose to read it I wanted it to help validate some of their life's struggles.
Since I don't have any followers to ask for ideas or thoughts, I guess I'm throwing out my idea more out of therapeutic necessity. Should I expose this area of my life?
It's been a rough week mentally and emotionally. Short work weeks do not mean better weeks; it means shoving more drama and crisis into four days rather than five. In addition, it's just been one of those times that I feel completely unqualified to supervise anyone let alone help people at all. The bad just seemed to outweigh the good so I wanted to push myself to come up with 5 blessings anyway. But after I started writing, one particular experience weighed heavily on me. And I think that one experience needs to be THE highlight.
As I was leaving a store I noticed a couple right outside the door. I had actually noticed them while walking around in the store because they weren't moving on. I considered cutting across to go out the other doors and avoid any potential contact with them. 'No. I can handle it.' Sure enough as soon as I got outside...
"Ma'am. Ma'am, can I ask you a question?"
"What's that?"
"My husband and I... come over here (to her husband)... my husband and I are homeless. And we just want to... come over here (again to her husband who hadn't moved from 20 ft away)... we want to go eat at Golden Corral." (Awkward pause.)
"So what would be your question?"
"We have $6." She looked again at her husband. "Show her the money."
He did come towards us at that point and she reached out to touch my arm. As I took a step backward, he began digging through his pockets and pulling stuff out. I think he found a dollar but the rest of the money was apparently lost. I noticed the man had no teeth. He had to hold on to the waist of his pants as he walked or they would have fallen off of him. The woman was all skin and bones.
"I'm sorry. I don't carry cash and I can't give you anything."
The woman turned towards me again. Her eyes were very sad. "No I don't want any money. We just want to go to Golden Corral."
"Why do you want to go to Golden Corral?" At this point I began looking around to see what places were close by where they could eat.
"I want to get the most for our money." Of course the thought that crossed my mind was, 'but you don't have any money!'
"I can't give you any money but if you will meet me over there at Braum's I will buy you a sandwich."
The woman's eyes got really big. "Really?! Did you hear that? Really?!"
"You meet me over there and I will buy you a sandwich." Then it happened; she hugged me. As it had several times during this conversation, the thought crossed my mind not to trust them. 'What if they try to attack me.' Now let me point out that this threat of harm was completely irrational. I am trained to sense danger and neither of these people were physically capable of hurting me. They were moving so slow it appeared they were in pain. The man couldn't take normal steps.
"Is it okay if we wait for you outside?"
"Why do you want to wait outside?"
"Because I just know they'll say something to us if we go in there."
Of course there are multiple possibilities for why they couldn't go in there but it wasn't important. "Okay."
The woman turned to the man and began saying "Hurry up! She's going to buy us a sandwich! We have to hurry!" I heard her repeat that probably three times.
I bought each of them a burger and two apples. In the bag I also included a card with my church's information. When I stepped back outside I didn't see them at first and began to wonder if they disappeared. And if they disappeared... had I just entertained angels? As I began walking back to my car, I spotted them sitting on a curb behind the restaurant. He jumped up and met me halfway to get the food. As he said thank you, I said "God bless you" and walked away so they could eat.
Let brotherly love continue.
Don't neglect to show hospitality,
For by doing this
Some have welcomed angels
Without knowing it.
Hebrews 13:1-2
My constant prayer is that God uses me to work His miracles in other people's lives. If at all possible, please use me. I am honored that God put me in that store, on that day, at that time so that these two people could eat. That's MY blessing for the week. However, when I begin to think about how fragile both these individuals looked, it saddens me. Yes I bought them a burger. But should I have done something else? Maybe I missed something? I am humbled by the thankfulness of these two people and all I did was buy them a burger. There's also a part of me that feels guilty that I thought about going out the other door, that I thought about hurrying to my car, that I wanted to tell her "no you can't ask me a question", that I doubted anything she said was true, that I didn't want her to touch me or hug me, that I kept looking for the catch or how I was going to be taken advantage of, that I didn't sit down and talk with them a little longer...
Will God give me a second chance tomorrow to show His love to someone?
