It's one of the latest social media crazes. Someone nominates you to post pictures of you and your spouse for 7 days to promote partnership and marriage. And each day you are to nominate two more people.
Let's face it, that's the hard part!
'Who would want to do this challenge?'
'Who has already done this challenge? Let me check their facebook page.'
'I had no idea I had so many single friends!'
Why would I choose to allow this kind of stress in my life?!
I recently read a blog discussing how this challenge negates the reality of marriage. Marriage is hard. Marriage is work. Marriage is exhausting and messy. It isn't all fairy tales and fairy dust and euphoria. I totally agree!
They also talked about how on social media we only portray 5% of THE BEST parts of our lives. The perfectly staged wedding photos and perfectly filtered selfies aren't reality. The major life events we post so that our family and friends can celebrate with us aren't daily occurrences. Again, I totally agree!
To be honest, I considered not doing the #LoveYourSpouse challenge too. Not only for those reasons but also because I have a lot of single friends. I was one of those single people not too horribly long ago who wanted to meet the man God had planned for me and start a family of my own. I didn't want to be the cause of hurt and loneliness in someone else's life, especially since I know what that feels like.
But I had a few reasons why I decided it was worth it for me.
First, I had my superficial reasons. I LOVE pictures. I love looking at pictures, snapshots of our lives. I'm not a scientist but I'm sure there has to be a chemical release of dopamine in the brain when we are stimulating memories. Pictures make us smile and laugh and cry as we remember not only what is in the picture but what isn't.
My husband and I have made a lot of memories already in our three years together. I have kept all the photos since the first day we met. That is a lot of photos to pick from! And a lot of memories that bring a smile to my face and cause me to think how cute we look together.
Another reason I didn't have problems engaging in the hype of loving your spouse was the need for positivity on social media. My heart has been so heavy lately with the condition of this world. There is so much pain. People are so selfish. And everyone has an opinion they think is the only right one. On top of that... it's election time. And politics just make me sick.
So why not post things that promote love?! Why not spread joy? Yes, I'm sharing pictures with you that show THE BEST 5% of my life. But how is that not better than war and civil upset and lying politicians?
"It bears all things, believes all things. Love never ends."
1 Corinthians 13:7-8a
One of my biggest reasons for posting pictures of my spouse and how much we love each other was BECAUSE marriage is hard. We have our 'discussions' over who's turn it is to cook dinner or feed the animals. Some days the house seems too small for the both of us. (I need my own space!) There are days when he asks "would you just speak English?!" If I'm being honest here, there are some days we don't like each other very much.
I'm guilty, hopefully I'm not the only one, of dwelling on the negative. My husband has told me I need to learn how to let things go. He's right. (Don't tell him I said that!) If I'm not careful, Satan takes over my thoughts and plants a lot of doubts in my head.
'If he really loved me he would have done the dishes.'
'He ate all the ice cream and didn't even consider if I wanted any. Why isn't he more thoughtful?'
'He must be mad at me because he didn't kiss me goodnight.'
'Why didn't he ask me about my day?'
I have to make a concentrated effort sometimes to see the positive and not allow Satan to win the battle over my inner thoughts.
'He helped me pick up the kitchen so that I could sit down and relax.'
'He allowed me to cuddle with him before falling asleep even though he was hot.'
Or one of my favorites... 'He does the dreaded Walmart shopping and stays within budget better than I could have.'
So, I share those moments of my marriage where we are perfectly posed at our wedding. I want to post the selfie from our first vacation together. I need to laugh at that goofy picture from Christmas. Because those are the good times that remind me that even though this marriage thing is difficult, even if we don't always like each other, we are in it together. We are committed to each other.
#LoveYourSpouse. I love mine. And that's okay.
