I Love People!

"LOVE people until they ask why and then LOVE them some more." 

There is so much heartache and so much pain in life.  Nobody is exempt from sadness, anger, fear, or loneliness.  I'm surrounded by trauma daily at work and at times it can be overwhelming.  Add to that stressful situations going on with people I know personally and my heart breaks.  The term "when it rains it pours" is so true.  A mother having to deal with her child having cancer and undergoing treatment; a friend in an unhealthy relationship; Christian parents searching for answers in helping their child overcome distress; marriages that are falling apart.   

I desperately want to help and sometimes I believe I can provide insight into the problem.  But voluntarily providing my opinions is not always going to be well received.  So I am striving to just love people.  I love loving people.  When a person is hurting, what they want is a listening ear.  I can do that!  When life seems to be crashing in, what people need is love.  I am praying for them, and I am praying for the appropriate words when the time comes for me to speak.  My witness to them is hopefully one of calm, non-judgmental understanding.  Preaching or teaching God's word is not a gift of mine.  In my job, I don't have the ability to openly witness either.  But I can hope whether professionally or personally that, if nothing else, I can demonstrate the love of Christ through my actions.  I want to build a relationship with people that impacts change. 

I heard somebody state the above quote this week and I thought "EXACTLY!"  It is a motto I try desperately to live by.   And I want to see people as God sees them.

"Dear friends, let us love one another, because love is from God, and everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God." 1 John 4:7

"No matter what happens in life, be good to people. Being good to people is a wonderful legacy to leave behind."

Decisions Decisions

As a supervisor one responsibility that I am not yet used to is making the decision of who to hire for a position.  This is one of the things I was refering to in my last post when I said I don't feel old enough for this much responsibility.  All last week I was conducting interviews.  Each person I talked with had different strengths that would be beneficial for the position.  I find their unique stories and experiences intriguing so I quickly get wrapped up in them.  And of course I want to help ALL of them. 

Unfortunately, I have to make a decision to hire one person.  I know that person will be thankful, but the difficult part is I have to then notify everyone else that I cannot offer them the position :(  I know some think that I have no problems with this, but I really don't like disappointing people.  I'm also one of those people that finds making decisions incredibly difficult.  If it is a clear good versus bad decision... easy!  But when there are multiple good outcomes and/or multiple bad outcomes, I will analyze and analyze and analyze all the possibilities until I've gone completely insane. 

So, here's to hoping that ultimately my choice has the best outcome possible.  However, I am going to enforce my authority as supervisor now and say that no one else is allowed to leave.... EVER!

Crazy Week!!!

Oh my!  How did I even make it through this week?!  It is weeks like this that I think 'I'm not old enough for this much responsibility!'  I made that statement to a couple of people at work and they laughed at me.  Maybe the more appropriate statement is that I don't feel old enough for all this responsibility, because we all know that I have a very important birthday coming up! 

The only way to successfully make it through this week was to take it one day at a time, better yet one hour at a time!  If I dared to think ahead to the next day, or try to comprehend the amount of work that needed to be done before the end of Friday, it seemed impossible. 

Girls may understand this more than you guys... but this was a bad week for unexplainable errors in thinking.  The tasks that you do daily purely out of habit somehow become difficult or forgotten.  Did I put conditioner in my hair already?  Did I lock my car when I got out?  The car keys are found in a spot that I've never put them before; so what was I thinking when I evidently hid them from myself?!  Okay, so that makes me sound a little bit crazy.  But when you are constantly at a dead run I think the mind just needs a break! 

I spent a couple of evenings in a zombie like state.  I locked myself in the house and away from any further contact with people.  I stared at the television mindlessly.  And I don't really remember much more than that.  With God's strength I made it through with my mind, body, and soul still intact!

Roommate Necessary or Scary?

For about a year and a half I have talked about getting a roommate.  People are constantly asking me if I've found anyone yet.  Of course not!  While financially beneficial and smart, I have struggled with this idea.  I have lived alone for 7 years.  That's seven years of having my space, my privacy, my things strewn all over the house, my dirty dishes stacked on the counter in nobody's way, my favorite shows on TV, my clothes taking up every inch of closet space (not to mention my shoe collection!)  There would be a lot of work to do organizing, removing, and making room for another person.  Is it possible to go from seven years of "mine, mine, mine" to sharing?! 

So, yes I'm being completely selfish.  I have absolutely no idea how I would do with this transition.  Does anyone know how difficult change is for me?  (That is a question not to be answered.)   And let's keep in mind that I have two furry babies that would need to adjust to the change as well.  (I would always be their favorite right?!)

As difficult as this change might be, there are so many benefits.  I've been barely scraping by for a couple of years.  Barely scraping by is not good for the pile of debt, the household repairs, or saving up for my next trip halfway around the world :)  As silly as this sounds, I would appreciate the help with cleaning.  And while I enjoy my time alone, there are times that having someone else in the house would help me feel better. 

I do want a roommate, but I don't want to advertise for a random stranger to be my roommate.  So I will continue to talk to friends in hopes that somebody knows somebody who needs a place to live because, at this point, the benefits definitely out weigh the fears.