A few weeks ago I posted about the bad news I received that I was going to lose my job in July due to the contract ending and the new contract being given to another agency. This was very hard news for me. But it isn't the first time that a job has been taken away from me, working against the plans I had for myself.
I truly love where I work. There is such an atmosphere of support and respect. I've only been there a year, and I had hoped to stay there and continue learning from others that had been there 10, 20, even 30 years. The news has been very hard on the mental and emotional health of everyone. We ALL need a vacation!
The good news is that I did get a job that will start July 2nd! I will be doing the same job I am doing now for the agency that received the new contract. It probably won't be that different as far as doing my job every day. The unknown factors are what the environment will be like with the new agency.
So who knows if the change will be positive or negative just yet, but the age old question is "Why?!" Have you ever heard someone say that you repeat the same tests and trials because you possibly didn't learn the first time? Well.... what is my lesson here? I enjoy what I'm doing. I see the path my career is taking. I'm excited to see where the path leads. And then it's changed against my will. It seems that I sometimes get in my own way. I make plans for my future based on what I see happening, but God has a way of changing those plans. The key lesson here is that I need to let go, God is in control. Not my will but His.
One thing I believe strongly in is that your strengths can become your greatest weaknesses. My strengths are that I'm strong-willed, loyal, hard working, and independent. They sometimes work against me. My strong will turns into stubbornness. I need to be in control at all times and if anyone tries to tell me what to do I will dig in the heels even deeper. My loyalty has caused me to stay in situations long after I should have ended it or walked away. Many of my friends and family can testify to the fact that my hard work has turned me into a workaholic in the past. I will work myself into a nervous breakdown if I don't keep it in check. And my independence.... oh Lord help me! I need to do a better job of practicing what I tell people every day. At times, I need to allow others to help me. Honestly, my anxiety just shot through the roof even thinking about allowing others to get close enough to me that I would allow them to HELP me.
God knows me better than anyone. And perhaps He knows that the only way to get me moving in His direction is to force the circumstances. I find great comfort in being a child of God and knowing that He is always taking care of me. Even when the obstacle in the way is me, He will remove it.
