One Breath at a Time

The theme of the day... one breath at a time.

A very close friend of mine returned to work this week after her dream of becoming a mother finally came true. She is heartbroken at the thought of leaving her baby girl with a babysitter, and trying to come to terms that, at least for now, it is not God's plan for her be a stay at home mom. Because I'm not a mother, I can only imagine the pain she must be feeling.

I noticed someone make a comment to her "Take it one day at a time, some days are as little as one breath at a time." And I began thinking...

How many times have I heard someone say 'I just want to know God's plan for my life.' We all want a divine revelation about what the future holds so that we know the exact step we should take next in order to get there. And following this expression of frustration, I've often given the advice to be in God's will today. If you are in His will today; you will move on into His will tomorrow; and before you know it you will be smack in the middle of God's plan for your life.

I believe this is exactly what my new momma friend sought to accomplish. She and her husband sought the Lord's will to become parents for years. Unable to conceive a child they began praying and searching for His divine plan. There's no doubt it was a daily search. And that daily seeking of Him brought them straight into His plan... adopting Baby BB.

However, this concept of one breath at a time, struck a chord. I am beyond overwhelmed with my job this week. My brain is running at warp speed. (I think my superpower is having the brain activity of two or three people!)

In the UCB's Word for Today, the author talks about praying for God's will every two or three minutes. This brings reality to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thess. 5:17). The prayers that can be whispered to God any where, any time, are the ones that get us through the tough days. And they not only keep us in His will from day to day, but from moment to moment.

I remember a time in my life that my conversations with God were constant; and I want to return there. While I'm attempting to hurry through the line at the grocery store, I can thank Him for the ability to buy those comfort foods! As I'm sitting in a difficult meeting, I can ask God to let my words speak grace and mercy to both those easy and those difficult in the room.

As life overwhelms me, I am challenged with this new concept to not only be in His will today, but to be in His will this moment. "Some days are as little as one breath at a time..."

This Morning's Thoughts

I wrote this in my journal this morning and then thought it might be worth sharing...

Proverbs 14:26
In the fear of the Lord is strong confidence: and his children shall have a place of refuge.

I need refuge today as I fear what the consequences may be for my actions. Lord knows I hate to be in trouble and sometimes my own guilt is worse than the discipline I might receive. As a child of God I have confidence that He is in control. No matter what happens today... despite my mistakes... He will work out His plan.

Will This Be The One

2013! A new year! Hopefully, I'm not the only one that thinks that sounds strange.

The idea of a new year has been consuming my thoughts. "New" indicates change. Change is very difficult for me; good or bad it can be stressful. But I feel I'm at a point in my life that I want change to happen.

I want to continue moving forward. I want to grow. I do not want to remain the same or to become complacent with where I am at in life.

In my devotion a few weeks ago, the question was asked "What was the year that changed your life?" What year brought divine revelations that forever changed your relationship with Christ? Have you had one yet?

"Pray this is one." Pray this is the year that you will be forever changed.

I am not one to declare new year's resolutions; but I do know I want to be better. I want to be a better daughter, a better sister, a better friend, a better supervisor, a better listener, a better helper, a better giver... a better Christian. I want to be full of joy.

The way I will be "better" is to draw closer to God and to lose myself in His will. It is there that I will find peace, comfort, and joy, no matter what happens.

"Happy are the people whose God is Yahweh."

Psalms 144:15

 

"...and the one who trusts in the Lord will be happy."

Proverbs 16:20

 

"I have spoken these things to you so that My joy may be in you and your joy may be complete."

John 15:11

 

If anyone asks what I hope to accomplish this year, my only hope is that I am able to complete God's will for me every day.

The Call to Rejoice

When I went to read my Bible this morning, God took me to Romans 12:12 "Rejoice in hope be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer." If I believed in chance it would be ironic that this verse was in front of me. However, I believe in God's sovereignty.

The theme of God's message to me over the last few weeks has been to find contentment in Him, remember that His timing is always perfect, and choose joy. Back in July I wrote about this verse and was focused on hope. This time I read it and He tells me to rejoice. What an easy thing to say, but such a hard thing to do when the stress is overwhelming and the heart is heavy.

I decided to go back and read the entire chapter to make sure I understood the context of the verse. I found not only that I need to choose joy, but discerning God's will for my life also involves sacrifice, gifts, and love.

My mission statement, if I were ever to take the time to write one, might be drawn from Romans 12:

1. To offer myself as a living sacrifice

2. To choose transformation of my mind so that I can discern the perfect will of God

3. To think sensibly

4. To use the spiritual gifts He gracefully chose to give me

5. To love without hypocrisy

6. To choose joy in affliction

7. To choose to bless people by empathizing with their ups and downs, not curse them

8. To choose humility over pride

9. To take care of my enemies in their time of need

10. To conquer evil with good


I purposefully repeat that I choose these actions. As a great father, God teaches me but then gives me the free will to make my own choices. There are rewards and consequences for every choice I make. The reward I seek is a life that is "holy and pleasing to God" so that I am able to "discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God" for my life. (v. 1-2)

I do not always understand where circumstances in my life are taking me. And honestly, I get impaitient with the waiting. But if I choose to believe that God is in control, I know I can find the ability to rejoice.

Single Woman: The Thought Life

There are times that Satan has small victories in my thought life and I hate him for it. Every few months I seem to experience this cycle of feeling sorry for myself and the fact that I'm still single or that I don't yet have children of my own. There are sleepless nights spent thinking, wondering, and beating myself up about missed opportunities and opportunities that should have been missed.

Satan is an expert at placing self-doubt in these moments. The negative thoughts become a tidal wave. I am not pretty enough. Perhaps I'm unlovable; I don't deserve to find someone. I will always be alone. There must be something wrong with me... A woman's mind is so dangerous and at times Satan can be so strong.

I have several tricks I attempt to use to get rid of the negative talk. I sing a few of my favorite songs.  I quote scripture that it seems I've known forever to comfort me. And I pray. I know it's particularly bad when I wonder if God even hears me. Some of these sleepless nights I move to the couch and turn on the tv to focus my mind on something else. It seems I am just waiting out this horrendous cycle because this isn't me and this isn't the type of person I want to be.

I've said this before and I'll continue my mission to convince every woman to believe this about herself. I may not be the world's definition of beautiful; I may not turn heads when I enter a room. But my heavenly Father believes me to be the most beautiful being He's ever created. I am created in His image and I would never say that God is ugly! I am so loved that He sacrificed His Son so that I can spend eternity with Him. And I am never alone because He never leaves me. In the times I think He's not listening are the times that He is fighting a war with Satan over my life.

I've also always said that I'm willing to wait for what God has planned for me. There is a hope and peace in knowing that what God has planned for me is above and beyond what I have imagined for myself.

I still strongly believe that my day will come. I pray that the man who is to be my future husband is being blessed, following God's will for his life, and growing to be the kind of husband I need him to be. I pray that God is preparing me to be the wife my future husband deserves. I know that being a wife and mother will be the most important job I will ever have on this earth. I'm excited to get on with it... when it's the right time.

Not My Will, But His

A few weeks ago I posted about the bad news I received that I was going to lose my job in July due to the contract ending and the new contract being given to another agency. This was very hard news for me. But it isn't the first time that a job has been taken away from me, working against the plans I had for myself.

I truly love where I work. There is such an atmosphere of support and respect. I've only been there a year, and I had hoped to stay there and continue learning from others that had been there 10, 20, even 30 years. The news has been very hard on the mental and emotional health of everyone. We ALL need a vacation!

The good news is that I did get a job that will start July 2nd! I will be doing the same job I am doing now for the agency that received the new contract. It probably won't be that different as far as doing my job every day. The unknown factors are what the environment will be like with the new agency.

So who knows if the change will be positive or negative just yet, but the age old question is "Why?!" Have you ever heard someone say that you repeat the same tests and trials because you possibly didn't learn the first time? Well.... what is my lesson here? I enjoy what I'm doing. I see the path my career is taking. I'm excited to see where the path leads. And then it's changed against my will. It seems that I sometimes get in my own way. I make plans for my future based on what I see happening, but God has a way of changing those plans. The key lesson here is that I need to let go, God is in control. Not my will but His.

One thing I believe strongly in is that your strengths can become your greatest weaknesses. My strengths are that I'm strong-willed, loyal, hard working, and independent. They sometimes work against me. My strong will turns into stubbornness. I need to be in control at all times and if anyone tries to tell me what to do I will dig in the heels even deeper. My loyalty has caused me to stay in situations long after I should have ended it or walked away. Many of my friends and family can testify to the fact that my hard work has turned me into a workaholic in the past. I will work myself into a nervous breakdown if I don't keep it in check. And my independence.... oh Lord help me! I need to do a better job of practicing what I tell people every day. At times, I need to allow others to help me. Honestly, my anxiety just shot through the roof even thinking about allowing others to get close enough to me that I would allow them to HELP me.

God knows me better than anyone. And perhaps He knows that the only way to get me moving in His direction is to force the circumstances. I find great comfort in being a child of God and knowing that He is always taking care of me. Even when the obstacle in the way is me, He will remove it.