I've had three weeks full of drama and crisis at work. My brain is ready for a break. By the time Friday arrived, I had turned into a zombie. When I was with my friends I may have been present physically but I was not present mentally. I could not attend to a conversation. I could not make simple decisions about what I wanted to eat or drink. And early this morning my mind decided to play some tricks on me.
At 4 a.m. something suddenly woke me from a deep sleep. As if it wasn't bad enough that I was dreaming about work, my thoughts became slightly irrational at this awful hour. It had actually been storming, complete with thunder, lightening, and RAIN! I got up to investigate what could have possibly woke me up. I went to the front door and looked through the peep hole. There was someone standing there! Who would be standing at my door at 4 a.m.?! And you better believe I'm NOT opening the door. I went back to my room to get my phone (just in case). I started sneaking around to a window where I could look out and they wouldn't see me. I was careful not to turn on any lights so that they wouldn't know I was awake and aware they were there! I looked out the window.... nothing! Where did they go?! Maybe the figure I saw through the peep hole was a ghost! I went back to the peep hole and.... there it was.... Let's try a different window! Nothing. Then I realized: the street light, the rain, the reflection. What I was seeing as a possible head and face was the reflection of a wet pavement under the street light. Nothing to worry about, right?
So I went back to bed. Still slightly anxious I began wondering again what had woke me up. Could there be someone in my house? When I first moved out of my parents house and into my first apartment I was always paranoid. Every night I performed a routine of checking every room, every door, and every window, to make sure I was alone and I was safe. There were times that I would get up at night just to check again. Now that I've lived alone for several years I've become accustomed to it, but nights like this.... I got up, again trying not to turn on lights, and checked every room to make sure it was empty. And they were empty. So the mystery of why I was suddenly awake was not solved.
Eventually I did go back to sleep but my brain was not done playing tricks on me. I got up this morning, just like every Sunday morning, and began getting ready for church. The church service I attend is at 11 a.m. and I had an hour to get ready. I was eating some breakfast, catching up on some Olympics, and checking facebook, when I realized the clock on my computer said 11:03?! What?! How on earth did I just loose a complete hour? Obviously the clock in my head was not in sync with the actual time. Even though I had looked at the clock multiple times before that, it did not register.
Maybe it's due to one of the worst droughts on record. Maybe it's the persistent heat. But something is impacting the sanity of people, and it's starting to take it's toll on me. I am not functioning at full capacity! This might be a frightening day for me to step foot outside the house. But I will try to push through it and hope that this work week is just slightly more calm.
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