I have always had high expectations for myself and the people in my life who I care about the most. These high expecations include what I believe close relationships should be. I often discuss the true meaning of love with people. While we love people in our life in different ways (you don't love your mom in the same way you love your dog), the foundation of love is always the same. It is unconditional and sacrificial. It is an action, not a feeling. I apply these same standards to the way I love my friends. Unfortunately, not everybody holds the same meanings for friends and love as I do. There have been a lot of people who have come and gone in my life.
Tyler Perry wrote an illustration about the different types of people that come and go in life. It's not anything that hasn't been said before. Some people are leaves, some are branches, some are roots. The leaves are only here for a season. As soon as it gets cold and the wind blows, they are gone. The branches may be around for a several seasons but you have to be careful because they may break if there is a big storm. And the roots are special. They hold you up and help you be strong through any season and any storm.
No doubt there are names that come to mind of people who fall in each of these categories. However, Tyler made a statement that stopped me in my tracks. He said not to be angry with people that are leaves or branches because it is just who they are. They will never know or realize that they are a leaf or a branch; so don't try to convince them.
I confess that I have held some anger and resentment towards the leaves and branches in my life. I invested my time and my heart into friendships that didn't turn out to be what I thought they were. I expected that they would have the same standards as I do, only to find that the relationship was seasonal.
So with this new revelation from Tyler Perry, how do I let go of that resentment and realize that is just who they are?
For one... forgiveness. I will forgive the leaves for not being roots. I will forgive the branches for breaking under pressure. And I will choose to love them for who they are.
It is currently Fall; my favorite time of year. The leaves bring me joy. They bring vibrance before a cold winter. They are fun to rake and a blast to play in!
Several years ago, we had this huge ice storm. Branches everywhere cracked under the pressure. It looked like a war zone. I have a ginormous tree in my front yard. For years, every time the wind blew I was picking up dead branches from that ice storm. Some of the branches tried to stay around even longer than apparently was intended for them.
Unless you were here for the ice storm you wouldn't know it had happened by looking around now. The trees are still standing and they are still growing. They don't look the same as they did prior to the ice storm, but there are some amazing stories to tell.
Second, I will choose to focus on my roots. Even though my friend base has changed about every 7 years, out of each of those bases I found a root. There are a handful of people who I know will always hold me up. Life can send me droughts, ice storms, thunderstorms, even tornados; the roots remain. No matter how much time goes by, no matter where the jet streams take each of us, we will find each other. I am beyond thankful for each of them!
The tree in my front yard has to be 100 years old. It would take two of me to wrap around its base. There's no doubt it has seen a lot of seasons and a lot of storms. I'm sure there are some empty spots where strong branches used to be. I'm sure there are scars from where those branches broke off. For every year that the leaves fell off, another year produced more. Can you imagine how many leaves this tree has been through in its lifetime?
Then there's the side of the tree that I cannot see. The roots. I wonder how deep into the ground those roots go. How far out from the tree do those roots reach? In its lifetime, how many times have those roots kept this majestic tree standing?
Can you imagine? Can you apply? Can you challenge yourself?
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