I'm Anyone

"Be serious! Be alert! Your adversary the Devil is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour." 1 Peter 5:8

Guess what?! I'm anyone...

At the beginning of the year I posed the question will this be the one? I found myself at a standstill in my relationship with God. I prayed that this new year would ultimately bring me to a new level in my relationship with Christ.

Unfortunately, the last several weeks have been one blow after another. I feel like I'm under attack, and I'm exhausted! It has come from all different directions... emotionally, mentally, financially, socially, physically... and it repeats itself a few times. 

Despite my struggle to not let anyone know details of my life and my extreme fear of being vulnerable, here I am writing and sharing my sadness and discouragement with my readers... but more importantly declaring the devil will not win!


What am I doing???

Distress causes me a lot of problems with eating and sleeping. Whether it's from God or Satan, when I'm awakened at 4 a.m. I instantly start praying. I pray that God takes the pain from me, but if He doesn't that it's used to make me more like Him. I pray for whoever is on my mind when I immediately awake hoping that they allow God to meet their need. If my mind still refuses rest, I get up and spend the next few hours reading and writing and praying. I can testify that it has helped me to be extra prepared for the battles of the day.

"God don't let my pain be wasted. Use it to conform me to your image."

Ironically (okay not ironically but by grand design), I have been doing a Bible study by Linda Dillow called "Calm My Anxious Heart." Let go of my worry and fear... how?! Find contentment in my circumstances... are you serious?!

It's a daily struggle, especially with Satan's persistence, to practice what I am learning. I have typed important scriptures and reminders in my phone from these lessons. Every time I become overwhelmed with circumstances, I read the notes and remind myself to be content in any situation, to focus on the positives, and that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

In my latest blog 'one breath at a time', I talked about trying to just get through the day. I may start the day ready to conquer Satan's darts but halfway through I begin to falter. The only thing I can do during this time of battle is to take one step at a time... "Lord am I in Your will now?"

Another coincidence (not) is that the UCB Word for Today has been publishing a series this week on winning your personal war with Satan using the following outline:
     - Be self-controlled and alert. 1 Peter 5:8
     - Submit yourselves to God. James 4:7
     - Resist the devil... he will flee from you. James 4:7
     - Come near to God and He will come near to you. James 4:8
     - Wash your hands, you sinners. James 4:8


My number one defense against Satan is to immerse myself in my Lord. While I'm afriad of what might happen next, I fight for the hope. The hope is found in the thoughts the Lord has toward me for peace, not evil (Jeremiah 29:11).

I have a scripture on my wall as I walk out the front door that says, "Be not afraid not dismayed by reason of this great multitude; for the battle is not yours, but God's" 2 Chronicles 20:15. It is my reminder that today's battle is not mine to fight and control. Because He is Lord of my life, He will fight the battle. Today's battle is just a small one in the war between God and Satan... And I know who wins the war!

"But when the darkness of dismay comes, endure until it is over, because out of it will come the ability to follow Jesus truly, which brings inexpressibly wonderful joy."