About two weeks ago I randomly decided to join an online dating site. I've been on different sites before but I've always refused to pay the outrageous amounts of money in order to fully use them. My experiences on past sites has been less than productive anyway. Somehow I attract men that are... let's just say "more mature." There was one man that even looked like Santa Claus! I know I'm an old soul, but seriously?!
I don't know what came over me but I decided to join a site I haven't tried before. I found out that it didn't cost money to talk with people and I was immediately overwhelmed with messages. If you know me, you also know I'm one of the least impulsive people you will ever meet. However, within 24 hours of joining the site I actually went to meet one of the men that I was talking to. It went fine and I was proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone.
One thing I've learned so far is that women are not holding men to a standard of how to treat a lady. A lady by definition is "a well-mannered and considerate woman with high standards of proper
behavior." I've heard stories about the things women do and/or say to men on online dating sites. It makes me ashamed to be a woman, and it makes me sad that women don't value themselves more. Now obviously not every woman is a lady, but I think society needs more women who strive to be ladies.
On the opposite side.... where are the gentlemen??? I wonder if "well-mannered and considerate MEN with high standards of proper behavior" even exist. I am learning that the definition of a gentleman is open to interpretation. I know it is old fashioned but I believe that a gentleman is courteous, gentle, treats others with respect, and does not take advantage of others. It appears to me that men aren't looking for ladies because of the effort they have to put forth.
While the terms lady and gentleman may be relative to the person speaking about them, I don't believe that the term Christian should be. A lot of people say they are a Christian. Unfortunately, it has turned into another pick-up line. A Christian, someone who professes to follow Jesus Christ, should be following the teachings of Christ and it should be evident in the way he/she lives. Just like it saddens me as a woman that other women don't posses enough self-worth to hold men to higher standards, it bereaves me as a Christian that there is not a significant difference in the way someone who professes to be a Christian acts and the way a non-Christian acts. I haven't been able to tell a difference, and if I can't....
I believe a Christian woman should be a lady, and a Christian man should be a gentleman. I know it's the Social Worker in me, but now I want to explore the thought processes people have on these dating sites. How will they react to someone who is a lady and demands the treatment of a gentleman? Are there men that understand, respect, and share the convictions of a Christian woman? Can men handle a woman who has a high standard for proper behavior? I am having fun meeting new people, and if I happen to come across a Christian gentleman I will snatch him up as fast as I can :D
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Vulnerability
Do you experience internal battles that make you want to lose your mind? I hate it. The most difficult battle is knowing when to express what you believe to be right and when to wait because it's not quite time. I should not feel embarrassment and shame for my personal convictions. Then why do I? Because I know the world's standards are different. I can't figure out when and where it's appropriate to be forthcoming with information about myself. When am I going to be judged harshly for my standards or when will I meet respect? I'm not trying to push my beliefs on to someone else, but my point of view is just as important.
It's so difficult in these moments to know which path to take. And before you know it the moment is gone.
It's so difficult in these moments to know which path to take. And before you know it the moment is gone.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Grandparents for Lease
Are there any children out there that could use some cool grandparents? I know two people that desperately want to have grandchildren and neither of their children are anywhere close to making that dream come true for them. Yes, I am pimping out my parents to anyone in need of grandparents for their children!
Both my parents have had grandparent fever pretty bad lately. Perhaps the 30th birthday of their oldest daughter was a launching point for this latest craze :) And having children around has definitely not helped the situation. For instance, on Easter I had the company of my former 7-year-old neighbor. My sister went and got her an Easter basket. The little girl was dying to hunt Easter eggs so it became a family event. I was literaly rolling in the grass laughing at my dad as he hid Easter eggs and then teased the little girl about where they were possibly located. That same night I was at our church's Easter chior concert with my mother. Two little girls from a family in her Sunday School class were sitting with us. My mom absolutely adores these kids, and they adore her. More than once, I have had someone from my parents' Bible Fellowship class tell me that they talk about wishing they had grandkids. And if you happen to walk in the room with a baby you better be ready for my dad; he will get a hold of it! My sister's dog is currently treated as the grandbaby; she gets absolutely anything she wants.
So somebody help!!!!! My mom will tell you that she doesn't want my sister or I to have children before it's time and we are ready. However, I think they are going crazy with the wait! I've been trying to talk some of my married friends into having babies, but that isn't working! If we could somehow give them somewhere to focus this energy, I wouldn't feel so bad for my poor grandchildless parents. I will start taking applications tomorrow :)
Both my parents have had grandparent fever pretty bad lately. Perhaps the 30th birthday of their oldest daughter was a launching point for this latest craze :) And having children around has definitely not helped the situation. For instance, on Easter I had the company of my former 7-year-old neighbor. My sister went and got her an Easter basket. The little girl was dying to hunt Easter eggs so it became a family event. I was literaly rolling in the grass laughing at my dad as he hid Easter eggs and then teased the little girl about where they were possibly located. That same night I was at our church's Easter chior concert with my mother. Two little girls from a family in her Sunday School class were sitting with us. My mom absolutely adores these kids, and they adore her. More than once, I have had someone from my parents' Bible Fellowship class tell me that they talk about wishing they had grandkids. And if you happen to walk in the room with a baby you better be ready for my dad; he will get a hold of it! My sister's dog is currently treated as the grandbaby; she gets absolutely anything she wants.
So somebody help!!!!! My mom will tell you that she doesn't want my sister or I to have children before it's time and we are ready. However, I think they are going crazy with the wait! I've been trying to talk some of my married friends into having babies, but that isn't working! If we could somehow give them somewhere to focus this energy, I wouldn't feel so bad for my poor grandchildless parents. I will start taking applications tomorrow :)
Monday, May 7, 2012
Bad News
I received some news last week that completely threw me for a loop. I don't have a job come July 1st! The contract for a service that my agency provides was up for rebid and another agency was awarded the new contract. In the past I've had positions eliminated, but in my previous agency it just meant I got moved to another department. Now it means I need to find a new job :'(
I'm having a hard time coping. First of all it was unexpected and I don't handle surprises well. Second, I handle change even worse. I'm confused about God's plan because I really felt like I was in a good place. I could see exactly where my career was headed. My job seemed absolutely perfect for my experience and education. I was getting more involved with other community agencies. I was looking forward to learning more from my supervisor who has TONS of wisdom. As hard as it has been at times, being a supervisor was really challenging me to be better at what I do. And more importantly, the agency I work for treats their employees with a great deal of respect and genuine caring so I planned to stay for a long time.
I have spent the majority of my time sad and depressed. Anger comes and goes. Occasionally I wonder if it's all a ridiculous prank. I have been completely stressing myself out about where I will be financially in the next few months. In an effort to help, people keep making suggestions and telling me it will be okay. I have spent eight years in this particular field and I love working with families. So I don't want to do something new. I know 'it will work out' but I just don't want to hear that right now.
Despite all of this anger and frustration, I am starting to deal with the reality of it a little more today. I'm trying to listen to the suggestions with a little more of an open mind even though, at this point, I would rather stay angry. Some of the other employees have already begun looking and putting in applications for other jobs, which makes me appear a little lazy!
I'm just praying that God places my next step plainly in front of me so that I don't miss it.
I'm having a hard time coping. First of all it was unexpected and I don't handle surprises well. Second, I handle change even worse. I'm confused about God's plan because I really felt like I was in a good place. I could see exactly where my career was headed. My job seemed absolutely perfect for my experience and education. I was getting more involved with other community agencies. I was looking forward to learning more from my supervisor who has TONS of wisdom. As hard as it has been at times, being a supervisor was really challenging me to be better at what I do. And more importantly, the agency I work for treats their employees with a great deal of respect and genuine caring so I planned to stay for a long time.
I have spent the majority of my time sad and depressed. Anger comes and goes. Occasionally I wonder if it's all a ridiculous prank. I have been completely stressing myself out about where I will be financially in the next few months. In an effort to help, people keep making suggestions and telling me it will be okay. I have spent eight years in this particular field and I love working with families. So I don't want to do something new. I know 'it will work out' but I just don't want to hear that right now.
Despite all of this anger and frustration, I am starting to deal with the reality of it a little more today. I'm trying to listen to the suggestions with a little more of an open mind even though, at this point, I would rather stay angry. Some of the other employees have already begun looking and putting in applications for other jobs, which makes me appear a little lazy!
I'm just praying that God places my next step plainly in front of me so that I don't miss it.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
A Moment with God
God and I had a moment on my way to work this morning. I was singing along with my favorite group Mercy Me to one of my favorite songs "Beautiful." As the song was playing, I was thinking about many people I know that needed the message. We all do this at times when we hear a sermon or a lesson... It's a lesson "someone else" needs.
In the bridge, as I'm singing at the top of my lungs, the "moment" began:
God was not sending this message for "someone else"; He was sending this message for me! I began to wonder what if every "you" was replaced with "I"? Before I ever took a breath. I'm the one He madly loves. Fortunately I was listening to my CD so I started the song over and attempted to listen to the message God had for me in that moment.
I had a praise Jesus moment right then. In my mission to assist people with their own self-worth, I need to take the time to pay attention to my own. I am made for so much more than all of this. I am treasured. I am sacred. I am His.
In the bridge, as I'm singing at the top of my lungs, the "moment" began:
Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You're the one He madly loves
Enough to die
God was not sending this message for "someone else"; He was sending this message for me! I began to wonder what if every "you" was replaced with "I"? Before I ever took a breath. I'm the one He madly loves. Fortunately I was listening to my CD so I started the song over and attempted to listen to the message God had for me in that moment.
The days will come when I don't have the strength
When all I hear is I'm not worth anything
Wondering if I ever could be loved
And if they truly saw my heart they'd see too much
I'm beautiful
I had a praise Jesus moment right then. In my mission to assist people with their own self-worth, I need to take the time to pay attention to my own. I am made for so much more than all of this. I am treasured. I am sacred. I am His.
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