Bad News

I received some news last week that completely threw me for a loop.  I don't have a job come July 1st!  The contract for a service that my agency provides was up for rebid and another agency was awarded the new contract.  In the past I've had positions eliminated, but in my previous agency it just meant I got moved to another department.  Now it means I need to find a new job :'(

I'm having a hard time coping.  First of all it was unexpected and I don't handle surprises well.  Second, I handle change even worse.  I'm confused about God's plan because I really felt like I was in a good place.  I could see exactly where my career was headed.  My job seemed absolutely perfect for my experience and education.  I was getting more involved with other community agencies.  I was looking forward to learning more from my supervisor who has TONS of wisdom.  As hard as it has been at times, being a supervisor was really challenging me to be better at what I do.  And more importantly, the agency I work for treats their employees with a great deal of respect and genuine caring so I planned to stay for a long time. 

I have spent the majority of my time sad and depressed.  Anger comes and goes.  Occasionally I wonder if it's all a ridiculous prank.  I have been completely stressing myself out about where I will be financially in the next few months.  In an effort to help, people keep making suggestions and telling me it will be okay.  I have spent eight years in this particular field and I love working with families.  So I don't want to do something new.  I know 'it will work out' but I just don't want to hear that right now. 

Despite all of this anger and frustration, I am starting to deal with the reality of it a little more today.  I'm trying to listen to the suggestions with a little more of an open mind even though, at this point, I would rather stay angry.  Some of the other employees have already begun looking and putting in applications for other jobs, which makes me appear a little lazy! 

I'm just praying that God places my next step plainly in front of me so that I don't miss it.