Nothing ruins the holidays quite like social work and spending all your energy trying to help others make it through them. So as I fly all around the county today, I'm going to be thankful that I'm alive!
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
I'm Alive!!!
Sometimes it's necessary to be thankful for the small things, or big things depending on how you look at it.
Nothing ruins the holidays quite like social work and spending all your energy trying to help others make it through them. So as I fly all around the county today, I'm going to be thankful that I'm alive!
Nothing ruins the holidays quite like social work and spending all your energy trying to help others make it through them. So as I fly all around the county today, I'm going to be thankful that I'm alive!
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Single Woman: Spoiled for a Reason
Yep, it's all his fault!!!
When people accused my dad of spoiling my sister or I, my dad always said "I spoil you for a reason." He spoiled us with the expectation that we would require the same treatment from men that we dated and any man that we would eventually marry.
To this day, my dad still tries to take care of me. I know he's ready to pass off the torch to someone else, but until then he is the man in my life. The next man has to be able and willing to spoil me too!
Thursday, November 15, 2012
The Challenge to Change
"If it doesn't challenge you it doesn't change you."
I read this on a facebook post today, and I don't want it to be true.
I am a work in progress. Every day provides a different challenge and a new opportunity for growing into a better person. However, it's not always easy to meet the challenge with an open heart and an open mind. Sometimes it's just painful.
In those moments of pain it can be hard to discern between the voice of the Holy Spirit revealing my sin and the emotional abuse of Satan telling me I'm worthless. The Holy Spirit is challenging me to not become complacent with my life; I am destined to be greater! Satan would absolutely hate that so he combats it by constantly reminding me that I'm not worthy.
The choice is now mine. Do I choose to believe God unconditionally loves me and desires me to come closer to Him so that I can be a positive influence on others? Or, do I choose to continue down a self-destructive path of demeaning myself, lessening my value, and negatively impacting the world around me?
"Yet Lord, You are our Father; we are the clay, and You are our potter; we all are the work of your hands." Isaiah 64:8
I read this on a facebook post today, and I don't want it to be true.
I am a work in progress. Every day provides a different challenge and a new opportunity for growing into a better person. However, it's not always easy to meet the challenge with an open heart and an open mind. Sometimes it's just painful.
In those moments of pain it can be hard to discern between the voice of the Holy Spirit revealing my sin and the emotional abuse of Satan telling me I'm worthless. The Holy Spirit is challenging me to not become complacent with my life; I am destined to be greater! Satan would absolutely hate that so he combats it by constantly reminding me that I'm not worthy.
The choice is now mine. Do I choose to believe God unconditionally loves me and desires me to come closer to Him so that I can be a positive influence on others? Or, do I choose to continue down a self-destructive path of demeaning myself, lessening my value, and negatively impacting the world around me?
Monday, November 12, 2012
Single Woman: How Did I Get Here?
Let's just say I've always been... different, unique, perhaps abnormal to some people...
I was not a normal child. I hated to upset my parents. I hated to ask for anything, even money. And I was not obsessed with boys. (This made life a little easier on mom and dad.)
Sure, I had crushes here and there. I went out on dates; I occasionally had a boyfriend. But having boyfriends, or not having boyfriends, was not my focus as a teenager. I had school/grades, band, color guard, volleyball, basketball, national honor society, prom committee, a part-time job, a trip to Europe, and youth group to keep me busy. I always joked that when I went to school it was dark, and when I left school it was dark. Who had time for dating and boys?!?
Finding the right college and establishing a career path took precedence over boys. Planning my future was number one priority.
So, how did I get to be a single 30-year-old woman? I think it starts there... I wasn't interested.
After high school, I went to a Christian college. Just like every Christian college in the nation, the running joke was that girls went there to get a MRS degree. With strong willed determination, I refused to follow that cultural expectation.
My answer to the above belief has always been: Being a wife and mother is the most important job I will ever have, but it is not the only job I will ever have.
I did have a serious boyfriend during my sophomore and junior years of college. However, it was made very clear that I wouldn't even think about marriage until after I finished school. After receiving my Bachelor's degree, the plan was to go straight to graduate school. That meant that the idea of marriage would not be a possibility until well into my mid-20's.
In the conservative Christian world this concept seems foreign. It seems to be an unspoken belief that a woman's purpose is to marry and begin having children. Add to that the fact that I live in the Midwest and I have a double whammy!
Many of my girlfriends in college held becoming a wife and mother a top value in their lives, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Sometimes I'm jealous of where their life path has taken them compared to mine. It just was not a strong value in my life.
I'll say it... I'm complicated! There are many, many, many things I want to do and be in my life. If anyone tries to limit me, I can throw a fit and dig my heels in with the best of them.
I posses the natural desire God gave us for companionship. I definitely do not lack a woman's instinct to be a caretaker. But I don't fit in a pretty little box.
My relationship in college ended very badly, which led to additional reasons why I'm currently single. (I think this is another topic for another time.) Again, I poured myself into planning my future, establishing my career, and trying to figure out God's plan for my life. I was working between 50-60 hours per week, and feeling guilty if I had free time when I wasn't working.
My name is Jennifer, and I am a workaholic.
After two years of working way too hard, I made the decision to go back to school for my Master's in Social Work. Working full time, going to school, trying to pay bills, attempting to keep up with the housework, and spending time with friends and family made for one very busy life. Obviously, I have a pattern going on.... Who has time for dating?!?
I jokingly say to be careful what you tell God is the plan for your life. I said marriage wasn't a possibility until I was done with school and He took me seriously! By the time I finished my graduate program I was 28 years old with still no prospects in the love department.
So the majority of the time I wasn't interested, or I wasn't ready. I suppose a part of me knew that I wasn't ready; on some unconscious level it appears that I purposefully neglected that part of my life. I had things to do! I had a purpose to fulfill.
Am I ready now? I don't know. But the path I took to get where I am today has been unconventional. I am single. I am not divorced. I do not have children from past relationships (unless a dog counts). I bought my own car. I bought my own house. I have an active social life. I established a career.
Responsibility lies in God's sense of humor and my determination to be successful. Even though loneliness may creep its way in at times, I don't think I would change the strong willed, hard working values that brought me here. And even though my dad wishes he could take back the words 'you have to wait until you're 30 to get married', I don't think he'd change the core values of who I am either.
I was not a normal child. I hated to upset my parents. I hated to ask for anything, even money. And I was not obsessed with boys. (This made life a little easier on mom and dad.)
Sure, I had crushes here and there. I went out on dates; I occasionally had a boyfriend. But having boyfriends, or not having boyfriends, was not my focus as a teenager. I had school/grades, band, color guard, volleyball, basketball, national honor society, prom committee, a part-time job, a trip to Europe, and youth group to keep me busy. I always joked that when I went to school it was dark, and when I left school it was dark. Who had time for dating and boys?!?
Finding the right college and establishing a career path took precedence over boys. Planning my future was number one priority.
So, how did I get to be a single 30-year-old woman? I think it starts there... I wasn't interested.
After high school, I went to a Christian college. Just like every Christian college in the nation, the running joke was that girls went there to get a MRS degree. With strong willed determination, I refused to follow that cultural expectation.
My answer to the above belief has always been: Being a wife and mother is the most important job I will ever have, but it is not the only job I will ever have.
I did have a serious boyfriend during my sophomore and junior years of college. However, it was made very clear that I wouldn't even think about marriage until after I finished school. After receiving my Bachelor's degree, the plan was to go straight to graduate school. That meant that the idea of marriage would not be a possibility until well into my mid-20's.
In the conservative Christian world this concept seems foreign. It seems to be an unspoken belief that a woman's purpose is to marry and begin having children. Add to that the fact that I live in the Midwest and I have a double whammy!
Many of my girlfriends in college held becoming a wife and mother a top value in their lives, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Sometimes I'm jealous of where their life path has taken them compared to mine. It just was not a strong value in my life.
I'll say it... I'm complicated! There are many, many, many things I want to do and be in my life. If anyone tries to limit me, I can throw a fit and dig my heels in with the best of them.
I posses the natural desire God gave us for companionship. I definitely do not lack a woman's instinct to be a caretaker. But I don't fit in a pretty little box.
My relationship in college ended very badly, which led to additional reasons why I'm currently single. (I think this is another topic for another time.) Again, I poured myself into planning my future, establishing my career, and trying to figure out God's plan for my life. I was working between 50-60 hours per week, and feeling guilty if I had free time when I wasn't working.
My name is Jennifer, and I am a workaholic.
After two years of working way too hard, I made the decision to go back to school for my Master's in Social Work. Working full time, going to school, trying to pay bills, attempting to keep up with the housework, and spending time with friends and family made for one very busy life. Obviously, I have a pattern going on.... Who has time for dating?!?
I jokingly say to be careful what you tell God is the plan for your life. I said marriage wasn't a possibility until I was done with school and He took me seriously! By the time I finished my graduate program I was 28 years old with still no prospects in the love department.
So the majority of the time I wasn't interested, or I wasn't ready. I suppose a part of me knew that I wasn't ready; on some unconscious level it appears that I purposefully neglected that part of my life. I had things to do! I had a purpose to fulfill.
Am I ready now? I don't know. But the path I took to get where I am today has been unconventional. I am single. I am not divorced. I do not have children from past relationships (unless a dog counts). I bought my own car. I bought my own house. I have an active social life. I established a career.
Responsibility lies in God's sense of humor and my determination to be successful. Even though loneliness may creep its way in at times, I don't think I would change the strong willed, hard working values that brought me here. And even though my dad wishes he could take back the words 'you have to wait until you're 30 to get married', I don't think he'd change the core values of who I am either.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
The Call to Rejoice
When I went to read my Bible this morning, God took me to Romans 12:12 "Rejoice in hope be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer." If I believed in chance it would be ironic that this verse was in front of me. However, I believe in God's sovereignty.
The theme of God's message to me over the last few weeks has been to find contentment in Him, remember that His timing is always perfect, and choose joy. Back in July I wrote about this verse and was focused on hope. This time I read it and He tells me to rejoice. What an easy thing to say, but such a hard thing to do when the stress is overwhelming and the heart is heavy.
I decided to go back and read the entire chapter to make sure I understood the context of the verse. I found not only that I need to choose joy, but discerning God's will for my life also involves sacrifice, gifts, and love.
My mission statement, if I were ever to take the time to write one, might be drawn from Romans 12:
1. To offer myself as a living sacrifice
2. To choose transformation of my mind so that I can discern the perfect will of God
3. To think sensibly
4. To use the spiritual gifts He gracefully chose to give me
5. To love without hypocrisy
6. To choose joy in affliction
7. To choose to bless people by empathizing with their ups and downs, not curse them
8. To choose humility over pride
9. To take care of my enemies in their time of need
10. To conquer evil with good
I purposefully repeat that I choose these actions. As a great father, God teaches me but then gives me the free will to make my own choices. There are rewards and consequences for every choice I make. The reward I seek is a life that is "holy and pleasing to God" so that I am able to "discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God" for my life. (v. 1-2)
I do not always understand where circumstances in my life are taking me. And honestly, I get impaitient with the waiting. But if I choose to believe that God is in control, I know I can find the ability to rejoice.
The theme of God's message to me over the last few weeks has been to find contentment in Him, remember that His timing is always perfect, and choose joy. Back in July I wrote about this verse and was focused on hope. This time I read it and He tells me to rejoice. What an easy thing to say, but such a hard thing to do when the stress is overwhelming and the heart is heavy.
I decided to go back and read the entire chapter to make sure I understood the context of the verse. I found not only that I need to choose joy, but discerning God's will for my life also involves sacrifice, gifts, and love.
My mission statement, if I were ever to take the time to write one, might be drawn from Romans 12:
1. To offer myself as a living sacrifice
2. To choose transformation of my mind so that I can discern the perfect will of God
3. To think sensibly
4. To use the spiritual gifts He gracefully chose to give me
5. To love without hypocrisy
6. To choose joy in affliction
7. To choose to bless people by empathizing with their ups and downs, not curse them
8. To choose humility over pride
9. To take care of my enemies in their time of need
10. To conquer evil with good
I purposefully repeat that I choose these actions. As a great father, God teaches me but then gives me the free will to make my own choices. There are rewards and consequences for every choice I make. The reward I seek is a life that is "holy and pleasing to God" so that I am able to "discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God" for my life. (v. 1-2)
I do not always understand where circumstances in my life are taking me. And honestly, I get impaitient with the waiting. But if I choose to believe that God is in control, I know I can find the ability to rejoice.
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