Curvy Girls vs Skinny Girls

I saw a heading today that read "Curvy girls are better than skinny girls." As a "curvy girl" this bothered me. Why does one have to be better than the other? Why does one side have to pick on the other in order to feel better? Better yet, why do there have to be sides at all?

My sister and I are completely different physically and our parents taught us that we are both beautiful. She is skinny; I am curvy. She has a square face and jaw like our mother; I have an oval face like our father. While she may have a long torso and flat stomach which is appealing to many, I have long legs and nice 'back side.' (Let me pause and giggle at myself for trying to find a polite way to say that.) No one would ever guess we are sisters since the only physical feature we share is our blond hair!

Typical sibling rivalry gets the best of both of us when we wish we had something the other has. There have been countless times we've tried to convince each other that what the other has is actually better. I can't imagine trying to convince her that what I've got is better. She is a beautiful skinny woman; I am a beautiful curvy woman.

As a woman, I completely understand the desire to change your body. We tend to compare our physical appearance to every one else and in the process wish we were different. For example, I don't like that when I'm smiling really big my gums show; I don't like that my hair is extremely thin; I don't like that extra weight accumulates around my mid section; I don't like that I have broad shoulders...

What I don't understand is the effort to put people that are different down in order to feel better. 

Because I am blond I could say blond girls are better than dark haired girls. Because I am tall I could say tall girls are better than short girls. Because I have light colored eyes I could say girls with light eyes are better than girls with dark eyes.

There is no logic in any of those statements.

Is this not the same thought process that is found at the root of racism, prejudice, sexism, bigotry, discrimination, etc.? In case you are now thinking 'whoa, Jennifer, is it really necessary to take it that far'... what about bullying?

With bullying being a hot topic, it is imperative that we set good examples for our children. What matters is not if someone is short or tall, male or female, curvy or skinny, but if they are kind, loving, giving, truthful, dependable...

There are so many women that turn to eating disorders, engage in self-harm behaviors, and stay in abusive relationships because they lack self-worth. Let's help each other find what's beautiful in each of us!

I am sure this statement was not made with any kind of intended malice. But we live in a society that already spends too much time tearing each other down. When these thoughts creep into our mind, we just need to be aware. The more aware we are of the negative thoughts we have towards people, the quicker we can change them. As the thoughts change, prejudice of any kind can change.

Red and yellow, black and white; they are precious in His sight.
Male and female, young and old; they are precious in His sight.
Tall and short, underweight and overweight; they are precious in His sight.
Round and oval shaped, square and triangle shaped; they are precious in His sight.

Let's exhort each other. Let's compliment our differences. And let's embrace the body we have. Not because the curvy body is better than the skinny body; not because the skinny body is better than the curvy body; but because God created all of us in His image.

Single Woman: The Thought Life

There are times that Satan has small victories in my thought life and I hate him for it. Every few months I seem to experience this cycle of feeling sorry for myself and the fact that I'm still single or that I don't yet have children of my own. There are sleepless nights spent thinking, wondering, and beating myself up about missed opportunities and opportunities that should have been missed.

Satan is an expert at placing self-doubt in these moments. The negative thoughts become a tidal wave. I am not pretty enough. Perhaps I'm unlovable; I don't deserve to find someone. I will always be alone. There must be something wrong with me... A woman's mind is so dangerous and at times Satan can be so strong.

I have several tricks I attempt to use to get rid of the negative talk. I sing a few of my favorite songs.  I quote scripture that it seems I've known forever to comfort me. And I pray. I know it's particularly bad when I wonder if God even hears me. Some of these sleepless nights I move to the couch and turn on the tv to focus my mind on something else. It seems I am just waiting out this horrendous cycle because this isn't me and this isn't the type of person I want to be.

I've said this before and I'll continue my mission to convince every woman to believe this about herself. I may not be the world's definition of beautiful; I may not turn heads when I enter a room. But my heavenly Father believes me to be the most beautiful being He's ever created. I am created in His image and I would never say that God is ugly! I am so loved that He sacrificed His Son so that I can spend eternity with Him. And I am never alone because He never leaves me. In the times I think He's not listening are the times that He is fighting a war with Satan over my life.

I've also always said that I'm willing to wait for what God has planned for me. There is a hope and peace in knowing that what God has planned for me is above and beyond what I have imagined for myself.

I still strongly believe that my day will come. I pray that the man who is to be my future husband is being blessed, following God's will for his life, and growing to be the kind of husband I need him to be. I pray that God is preparing me to be the wife my future husband deserves. I know that being a wife and mother will be the most important job I will ever have on this earth. I'm excited to get on with it... when it's the right time.

FaB FiVe FrIdAy

I have a few minutes left in my Friday to see if I've been blessed this week.  There's no doubt I can come up with a few :)

1.  The first thing that comes to mind is that I had a day off.  Read my previous post for a list of activities from that day.  I didn't actually get a full day away but I got some time away.

2.  On my mental health day, I went shopping.  Of course this is one of my favorite things to do!  But even more exciting... While at one of my all time favorite stores, Target, I found jeans that I love.  Not just jeans, but skinny jeans, to wear with my slightly obsessive collection of boots.  I don't exactly have the "skinny" to pull off the skinny jean typically but these fit me so good! 

3.  I had all of my employees back this week!  It was still crazy hectic busy, but last week 5 of them were gone to training!  So of course I had a huge appreciation for them all being back full swing this week.

4.  October started this week!  It's one of my all time favorite months.  I love the weather.  I love the colors.  The month of bonfires, pumpkin carving, candy, and corn mazes is here!  It is the best time of year to live in Missouri.

5.  Tonight, believe it or not, there was no line dancing.  So I took the opportunity to hang out with one of my best friends, who I've been neglecting here lately.  Dinner, talking, and a movie on the couch is all we need.  Love her! 

My theme this week was to try and enjoy the small things rather than

become overwhelmed with the big picture.  Happy weekend everyone!!!

Mental Health Day

As mental health professionals the last thing we know how to do is take care of our own mental health.  We have convinced ourselves that if we take time away from working and helping other people, the world will stop turning.  There's nobody else that can step into our role and know what to do, especially if crisis occurs.  Even if we do manage to get away, there's a debate whether it's even worth it because you have to work even harder to make sure nothing is needed while you're gone and you come back to endless needs that have to be addressed immediately. 

It almost feels like the system has set us up to fail.  The world may not literally stop turning, but who has a position that can be easily covered while they are gone to the point that the endless pile of needs does not exist when they come back? 

Today I attempted to take a mental health day.  I had actually told my director I needed one weeks ago.  The last time I had taken a day off was in March for my birthday.  There's been a lot of stress over the last several months with the conctract changing to a new agency, training new employees, still serving families, and just the normal every day practices.  The mind can only handle so much stress before it starts to take a toll on the body.  Even though I've needed a day off to just regroup, it wasn't until my director insisted that I followed through with taking it.  It is so hard not to feel guilty about taking time for ourselves.

What did I do?

First of all, I slept in... a little bit.  My car had an appointment at the car doctor for a check-up, where I unfortunately learned I need tires.  As I would normally do on a Tuesday, I donated plasma.  And... I answered my phone.  A day away from work would not be complete without having them call you a few times. 

Part of it comes with the territory.  As a supervisor in social services it is expected that phone calls will come 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  If we are to expect front line workers to be constantly available to clients they are serving, we have to always be available to them. 

As strange as it might sound, I actually didn't mind the phone calls today.  Instead of becoming frustrated about work calls, I chose to focus on the few things I did FOR ME.  I haven't told you that part yet!  A mental health day is supposed to improve mental health...

I went shopping and spent money I don't have :D  I did shop clearance and attempted to be somewhat financially responsible.  Just a little advice for you gentlemen... if you want your woman to feel good about herself, buy her some new clothes!  Feeling good in your clothes does wonders for the self-confidence (and mental health).  I took my time walking through the mall and treated myself to lunch.  On my way home, I again treated myself with Andy's Frozen Custard!  It's October, which means time for the Pumpkin Pie Concrete!!!  (I know there are a lot of jealous people right now.)  And I spent the evening at home. 

Mental health days are absolutely necessary for everyone.  We all need time to ourselves.  But even if you can't get away completely, remember to focus on the moments that are about you.  Participate in activities that help you de-stress.  A few weeks back I went for a 90 minute massage after work.  Again without fail, there was a work crisis during my massage and I heard my phone vibrating.  But that 90 minutes was for me; for that 90 minutes work was not my focus.  I may not have had a full 24 hours to myself today, but I did have the majority of the day to myself.  I got to sleep!  I bought new clothes!  I had frozen custard!  I cuddled with my furry babies! 

For my final ME activity of the day, I'm going to go do my nails :D

The Song of My Heart

There is a special moment when you hear a song and it appropriately expresses exactly how you feel right then. Instantly, a connection forms with the singer, the writer, the piano player, the guitar player, and yes even the drummer, because he or she was able to express what you keep deep in your soul. And that song becomes the song of your heart. 

If you've read many of my blogs I have often quoted lines from songs or posted videos of music that I couldn't give proper justice with my own words. Music helps us celebrate when we are excited. It helps us grieve when we are hurt. It gives us hope that tomorrow will be different. It breaths life and death in our soul. Through music we find friends that we'll never meet who live all over the world.

There is another important thing that music can do... It can change the heart. When angry, depressed, agitated, anxious, or scared, my mother has always told me to sing God a song. 'Sing Him a song and you will feel better.' Sometimes it can be as simple as 'Jesus Loves Me'; who can go wrong with that?! When I begin praising the Lord with my song, something happens to me. My mind and heart are re-focused on what is eternally important and released from the worry the temporary things of this world brings me.

My favorites include old hymns, such as 'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus' and 'Nothing But the Blood'; they are great for reminding me who my Savior is to me. I love choruses that honor the relationship I have with Jesus, such as 'Jesus, Friend of Sinners' and 'Draw Me Close'. My favorite band of all time is Mercy Me, with Casting Crowns a close second, because they call out heavily to the church to be the hands and feet of Christ. I get excited at church when we sing 'Who Can Satisfy?' The group Addison Road (even though they aren't a group anymore) has multiple songs that I'm sure some mad scientist stole from my heart while I was sleeping in order to provide them with the material to perform. And there are those days when Bon Jovi's 'Have A Nice Day' is my anthem.  

I'm sure I could go on all day with my favorites, but there is ONE song that always changes my heart and exemplifies what I pray my life will be to those around me.  It is a chorus from my days in the youth group. I often catch myself singing it when doing the dishes. I sing it while driving to work; my heart often needs it even more when driving home. Sometimes I sing it out loud and sometimes I sing it silently. And yes, sometimes I sing it in the shower. After all, everyone sounds great in the shower!

Jesus, Be Jesus in Me is the song of my heart. What is the song in your heart?

Fab Five FriDAY!

Can I do it this week?

1. Last Saturday we had some girl time. My grandma, my mom, an aunt, a few cousins, and I went to a tea room for lunch (one of our favorite things to do) and then went to a local pottery place to paint pottery. I'm not the most artistic person in the world, but I didn't do too bad. Maybe I'll get some pictures up when I get it back so everyone can see how insanely untalented I am!

2. Sunday started the Fall Revival at my church. No matter who it is, stranger or friend, when someone makes a decision for the Lord I become emotional. I consider watching someone choose to follow God a miracle that I get the privilege of witnessing and it touches a very deep part of my soul. It never gets old.

3. Let me just say... chocolate covered raisins. Self-explanatory :)

4. Work has been really crazy lately. While I still had my share of crazy this week, I was more than thankful for somewhat of a slower pace. It was also a huge benefit as I was slightly absent minded this week.

5. Finally... Cooler weather!!! The news stations have been teasing me with cold front after cold front but it never drops below 80. I'm sorry but it's still a little too warm to start wearing my boots in 80+ degrees; therefore, it's not really a cold front in my book. My Friday was made perfect with 60 degree weather AND rain. I not only got to wear boots but I also got to wear a scarf! Bring on FALL!!!

Give thanks in everything, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Single Woman

I am a 30-year-old woman. I am a Christian. I am single.

I have a lot of experience being single. Depending on the day I have different thoughts and feelings about it. One day it could mean I'm strong and independent. Another day it might be that I'm lonely. I have experienced triumphs in this journey and I have had my share of losses. Yet the question remains, 'why am I still single?'

As I've entered my 30's this question seems to haunt me more and more. I get really tired of attempts people make to give me advice based on what happened to them or what worked for them. My path in life has always been unique to me (partly because I refuse to follow the crowd ;) 

Don't get me wrong; I'm not complaining about my life. I am blessed with many great friends that love me and support me. I have a family that always takes care of me. I have a career that I enjoy.  But if there's one area of my life that the devil manages to attack me with the most, it is that I am single. I have had many discussions about this with other single Christian women; I know I'm not alone.

However, every time I sit down to write something to launch discussion on this topic; fear overwhelms me. I'm not sure how to approach it without being completely vulnerable. But I suppose that is the point. When I began this blog I not only wanted to give myself a creative outlet, but if anyone chose to read it I wanted it to help validate some of their life's struggles.

Since I don't have any followers to ask for ideas or thoughts, I guess I'm throwing out my idea more out of therapeutic necessity. Should I expose this area of my life?

Not a Fab Five Friday

It's been a rough week mentally and emotionally.  Short work weeks do not mean better weeks; it means shoving more drama and crisis into four days rather than five.  In addition, it's just been one of those times that I feel completely unqualified to supervise anyone let alone help people at all.  The bad just seemed to outweigh the good so I wanted to push myself to come up with 5 blessings anyway.  But after I started writing, one particular experience weighed heavily on me.  And I think that one experience needs to be THE highlight. 


As I was leaving a store I noticed a couple right outside the door.  I had actually noticed them while walking around in the store because they weren't moving on.  I considered cutting across to go out the other doors and avoid any potential contact with them.  'No.  I can handle it.'  Sure enough as soon as I got outside... 

"Ma'am.  Ma'am, can I ask you a question?"

"What's that?"

"My husband and I... come over here (to her husband)... my husband and I are homeless.  And we just want to... come over here (again to her husband who hadn't moved from 20 ft away)... we want to go eat at Golden Corral."  (Awkward pause.)

"So what would be your question?"

"We have $6."  She looked again at her husband.  "Show her the money." 

He did come towards us at that point and she reached out to touch my arm.  As I took a step backward, he began digging through his pockets and pulling stuff out.  I think he found a dollar but the rest of the money was apparently lost.  I noticed the man had no teeth.  He had to hold on to the waist of his pants as he walked or they would have fallen off of him.  The woman was all skin and bones. 

"I'm sorry.  I don't carry cash and I can't give you anything."

The woman turned towards me again.  Her eyes were very sad.  "No I don't want any money. We just want to go to Golden Corral." 

"Why do you want to go to Golden Corral?"  At this point I began looking around to see what places were close by where they could eat. 

"I want to get the most for our money."  Of course the thought that crossed my mind was, 'but you don't have any money!' 

"I can't give you any money but if you will meet me over there at Braum's I will buy you a sandwich." 

The woman's eyes got really big.  "Really?!  Did you hear that?  Really?!"

"You meet me over there and I will buy you a sandwich."  Then it happened; she hugged me.  As it had several times during this conversation, the thought crossed my mind not to trust them.  'What if they try to attack me.'  Now let me point out that this threat of harm was completely irrational.  I am trained to sense danger and neither of these people were physically capable of hurting me.  They were moving so slow it appeared they were in pain.  The man couldn't take normal steps. 

"Is it okay if we wait for you outside?"

"Why do you want to wait outside?" 

"Because I just know they'll say something to us if we go in there."

Of course there are multiple possibilities for why they couldn't go in there but it wasn't important.  "Okay." 

The woman turned to the man and began saying "Hurry up!  She's going to buy us a sandwich!  We have to hurry!"  I heard her repeat that probably three times. 

I bought each of them a burger and two apples.  In the bag I also included a card with my church's information.  When I stepped back outside I didn't see them at first and began to wonder if they disappeared.  And if they disappeared... had I just entertained angels?  As I began walking back to my car, I spotted them sitting on a curb behind the restaurant.  He jumped up and met me halfway to get the food.  As he said thank you, I said "God bless you" and walked away so they could eat.   

Let brotherly love continue.

Don't neglect to show hospitality,

For by doing this

Some have welcomed angels

Without knowing it.

Hebrews 13:1-2

My constant prayer is that God uses me to work His miracles in other people's lives.  If at all possible, please use me.  I am honored that God put me in that store, on that day, at that time so that these two people could eat.  That's MY blessing for the week.  However, when I begin to think about how fragile both these individuals looked, it saddens me.  Yes I bought them a burger.  But should I have done something else?  Maybe I missed something?   I am humbled by the thankfulness of these two people and all I did was buy them a burger.  There's also a part of me that feels guilty that I thought about going out the other door, that I thought about hurrying to my car, that I wanted to tell her "no you can't ask me a question", that I doubted anything she said was true, that I didn't want her to touch me or hug me, that I kept looking for the catch or how I was going to be taken advantage of, that I didn't sit down and talk with them a little longer...

Will God give me a second chance tomorrow to show His love to someone?

The Story of Charlie and Ava

Over this last weekend a friend and I took a trip to a local theme park for the day.  There was the possibility for rain, but in the midst of one of the worst droughts on record we decided to take our chances.  It was shortly after lunch when we arrived.  We loaded the tram for a ride to the front gate, and as if the heavens were waiting for a que, the torrential downpour began.  We got through the gate as fast as we could but not without being drenched.  It was so bad I had water in my eyes and my supposedly "waterproof" mascara was running down my face. 

The closest place to take up shelter just happened to be in a bakery.  It was divine intervention that led us there where we shared a giant homemade cinnamon roll!  We were not the only ones that chose the bakery for shelter.  Tables and chairs were scarce.  After asking an elderly lady, Ava, if she minded to share her table, we made some new friends.  Ava told us that she was with her husband and they had been on vacation for a month from their home in Phoenix, Arizona.  She talked about how they don't have rain there so the rain and the hills were something they were trying to get used to.  She even offered to share some of her food with us! 

After several minutes her husband, Charlie, came riding up in a motorized wheelchair wearing his recently purchased poncho.  Charlie was the talkative one and he was very eager to share his story.  Charlie asked us if we were in college because my friend was wearing a Mizzou t-shirt.  Now that was humorous considering we're not even close to college age anymore, but I guess to elderly people young people are just.... young!  That led to a discussion about our favorite collegiate football and basketball teams.  Charlie announced that he had attended Ohio State; therefore, he's a lifelong fan. 

I think Ava was talking to my friend, but Charlie sure got a hold of my ear.  He was dying to tell me about the circumstances surrounding how he met his beautiful wife Ava.  Charlie was married to his first wife for 44 years.  I do not know what happened to her, but I was led to believe she passed away.  Charlie knew God had to have someone for him, but no one had emerged just yet.  One night he knelt down at his bed to pray.  "There's no bargaining with God because He's always in control."  But he asked God to either send him someone or he was going to go buy a dog the next day.  That very night Ava emailed him.  They talked on the phone for 3 hours, and then.... they went to church together :)  They both admitted that their faith was the most important thing in their lives, and they needed someone that would share it.  Charlie was hooked!  They were married 6 months later, and they have now been together 6 years. 

Charlie also shared with me the accomplishments of his children and their wonderful marriages.  When his daughters were getting married, he told both his future son-in-laws that there were only two events that people attended in this family.  Weddings.  And funerals.  He informed them that people in his family did not get divorced and so they better make it work.  Ha ha.  I guess that's one way to get the point across. 

If Ava hadn't been ready to move, I think Charlie was prepared to start looking to find both my friend and I single Christian men.  Ava took off up the hill while Charlie tried to carefully maneuver his wheelchair and not run over anybody.  They were quite the comical pair. 

I don't believe in coincidence; I know God puts people in our paths for a reason.  The reasons are not always obvious, but maybe this time I just needed a good story that would make me smile :D  Charlie was quirky!  I admit there were times I had no idea what he was saying.  However, in that short conversation he shared with me his passion for the relationships in his life.  His children were important; his wife was important; above all, his relationship with God was important.  Not knowing whether or not I was a Christian, he began sharing with me how God worked in his life.  Once he found out I was a Christian, he was excited about the special connection we shared.  And even an elderly couple at a theme park gave us two single girls hope in finding someone to share life with because we're still..... young!

Fab Five Friday

Let me see if I can bring something together for this week....

1.  I screwed up at work Monday morning (no that's not the highlight).  It ruined my day and was a bad way to start the week.  However, out of a bad situation great people emerge.  My workers were so supportive and understanding; I felt blessed to have some great staff!  By Tuesday I felt so much better and God placed a song in my morning that was exactly what I needed at exactly the right time.  He's pretty amazing like that. 

2.  I managed to get at least part of my house cleaned.  If you know me at all, you know this is a huge accomplishment! 

3.  I am attempting to make going to the gym more of a priority.  This week I decided to challenge myself a little more; with the encouragement of a great instructor, I increased some of my weights.  Woohoo!  This is a big deal because even though I've done this class for years, I have not been consistent enough to increase my weight... until now.  

4.  My cousin was able to fit me in to do my hair at the last minute Friday afternoon!  It was in desperate need of repair and there's something that just makes a girl feel better after a nice cut and color :)  It is darker, and red, just because it's that time of year!

5.  And the biggest blessing of all this week... My parents celebrated their 31st wedding anniversary!  This has to be recognized as a huge accomplishment.  They have not only taught me what sacrificial love means, they have demonstrated it my whole life with their dedication and commitment to each other.  I am very proud of them :D 

Well that wasn't as hard to put together as I thought it would be ;)
Here is the song that was my theme for the week.  I hope it blesses you too!

Lessons from Anne Shirley

Back in the day I used to be obsessed with reading.  My mother would take me to the library where I would check out as many books as I could carry only to have her take me back in a week or two because I had read them all already.  My favorites included Little House on the Prairie, anything written by Lurlene McDaniel, the Goosebumps Series, and Nancy Drew.  Oh how I wanted to be just like Nancy Drew!  Flipping through the TV guide on Sunday night I found a blast from my reading past that was made into a movie...  Anne of Green Gables.  There are so many sweet memories that rush to the forefront of my mind with this movie.  I remember that my mom shared this reading experience with me.  And I remember that she, my sister, and I loved this movie. 

As I was reminiscing on a part of my childhood innocence, I realized that Anne Shirley had some very important life lessons for all of us including:

          "True friends are always together in spirit."
          Wealth doesn't bring happiness.
          It is better to have one beau in his right mind than many in their wrong mind ;)
          Life goes on whether you succeed or fail.
          Forgive people when you have the chance.
          The truth will set you free.  (Remember the dead mouse in the pudding?!)
          Being smart is better than being good looking.
          Wealth is not measured by diamonds but by happiness and love.
          "Life is worth living as long as there's a laugh in it."
          Ambitions make life interesting.
          What you bring to the world is what really counts.
          It's better to try and fail than to not try at all.
          "Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?"

It is so much fun to look back at the TV shows, books, and movies I enjoyed as a kid and realize there were life lessons to be learned.  Of course I didn't know it back then.  I do remember one particular song on Kids Inc. that struck a cord with me when I was little.  The only lines I could tell you now from the song (playing in a sing song voice in my head) is "You can't judge a book by it's cover. There's so much more to discover." 

After watching Miss Anne Shirley and all her shenanigans, the thought that tomorrow is a new day kept repeating itself in my mind.  Tomorrow doesn't have any mistakes... yet.  How refreshing is it to know that despite the many errors I have made today, I get a second chance tomorrow.  Of course I am human and I will make mistakes tomorrow, but today's mistakes are behind me. 

Throughout the Bible God gives second chances.  The Lord told Jonah to go to Nineveh; Jonah fled.  He jumped into a ship going the opposite direction hoping to get away from God.  The Lord sent storms that threatened to break the ship, which would have likely killed everyone.  In order to escape the wrath of God Jonah was thrown overboard.  He was then swallowed by a whale.  Jonah could have drowned after being thrown into the sea; there are many ways he could have died.  But God let him live.  After his repentance he was given a second chance to do God's will.  "Jonah got up and went to Nineveh according to the Lord's command." (Jonah 3:3)  The outcome of Jonah's second chance was that "the men of Nineveh believed in God." (Jonah 3:5)

In John 8, the scribes and Pharisees brought a woman to Jesus that had been caught committing adultery.  Knowing that the law stated that she should be stoned to death, they asked Jesus what He thought should be done.  Jesus answered that if anyone was without sin among them then they could cast the first stone.  The crowd departed as everyone had their own sin.  "He said to her, 'Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?'  'No one, Lord,' she answered. 'Neither do I condemn you,' said Jesus. 'Go, and from now on do not sin anymore.'" (John 8:10-11)

And let's not forget David, a man after God's own heart.  David's family didn't think much of him as his brothers went off to war and he stayed home to tend the sheep.  Ultimately, he became the hero when Goliath, hit by a stone from David' sling shot, fell to the ground.  He was a warrior with many victories that threw Saul into a jealous rage.  David went into hiding in order to stay alive.  Then there are the sins that David is unfortunately so famous for... adultery and murder.  Now there is some great evidence that God gives second chances.  David did have to suffer the consequences of his sin, but in the end he was able to find peace and hope in his relationship with God. 

Jonah, a woman caught in adultery, and David all got second chances.  There are many many more stories where the Lord showed grace and mercy after people messed up.  I mess up every day; and I'm an expert at beating myself up for it.  At the end of the day, if I have any regrets, there's comfort in knowing that tomorrow I can start over. 

So, thank you Miss Anne Shirley for the reminder!  In the words of David:

Then I acknowledge my sin to You and did not conceal my iniquity. 

I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,"

and You took away the guilt of my sin...

You are my hiding place;

You protect me from trouble.

You surround me with joyful shouts of deliverance.

Psalm 32:5,7

Fab Five Friday

I have been inspired when reading other blogs to challenge myself a little bit.  On Fridays I will try to come up with five blessings or high points of my week that deserve a little spotlighting.  I may not make it every Friday, but it will be fun even if it's just once in a while.  Since I'm new to the blogging world, please bear with me as I try to find ways to make this a little more interesting and fun for those willing to read it.  More than anything I hope this little adventure will help me focus on some positives in my week even when it is difficult. 

So here goes...

1.  I have managed to stick close to my recommended calorie intake this week.  My eating habits are quite the roller coaster.  One day I will do great, and the next I will completely blow it.  This week I feel good and I feel strong.  I've also been consistent with my working out for three weeks straight!  Go me!!!

2.  I finally managed to get my office decorated at my new job.  I've been staring at white walls for almost 6 weeks!  Now if I could get a few plants in there it would feel even more like home. 

3.  It rained!  I was sitting in my office and could see the storm coming in.  There was lightening, wind, and a downpour of rain.  I could have sworn the grass in front of the building across the street even looked instantly greener.  When the storm had passed it was cool enough to open the window and let some fresh air in. 

4.  I bought a new dress at Target.  It is bright pink with a tan belt.  It looks excellent with some tan heels!  Now I desperately need somewhere to wear it.  Who's having a party soon that they need a date for?! 

5.  And finally, Thursday night some of my line dancing friends got together to create some shirts in honor of a slightly more difficult line dance we've been learning.  I'm afraid I wasn't much help in the creative process, but I had fun as an assistant!

Poor Claire's fingers were cramped from spray painting all the shirts, but she was brilliant at it :)

This particular dance has a lot of "and" counts, which is the reason for all the "&" signs. This was the finished product!

And it was a surprise to our instructor. No worries; we made sure she got a shirt too!

I love this picture of all of us!!!

Not too bad for my first week of Fab Five Friday!

If You Knew Me...

If you were close to me you would know....


My favorite color is purple.  Sometimes I go through "green" phases, but it always comes back to purple.  My school colors in college were white and purple.  That's not why I chose to go there, but it was definitely a big plus.

I get excited about college basketball.  My favorite team is the North Carolina Tarheels.  My relationship with them has grown over time.  Typically I like teams if I like their coach and they're consistent.  Other teams I enjoy watching due to good coaching and consistency are: Kentucky, Michigan St., Louisville, and Duke (as long as they aren't playing UNC!)  An item on my bucket list is to someday attend a game between UNC and Duke.

I am a Momma's girl.  It does not matter how old I am, I hate to disappoint my mom.  I become upset if anyone upsets her.  She is and always will be my best friend.  She has been the only one on this earth that understands my thoughts, emotions, and actions.  She is also a spiritual role model for me. 

I am a true animal lover.  My workers make fun of me when we go into a home because if there are any cats around that's where my attention will go.  In a family full of dog lovers, I am the only cat person.  Unfortunately I cannot afford to take in any more so when those commercials on animal abuse come on or someone posts something on Facebook, I turn away.... quickly. 

I love shoes!  I do believe that the right pair of shoes can make an outfit.  And even though I have shoes overflowing out of my closet and not enough space to store them, I still don't always have the right pair of shoes.  My absolute favorite are boots.  They are too hot to wear in summer so I get really excited for fall when I can start wearing them again.


I am obsessed with food!  The older I get the more this has become a problem.  Word has spread to those that work for me to never allow me to go more than a few hours without eating.  Apparently I become kind of grumpy. 

Sweets are a huge vice, especially chocolate and sweet tea; both are things that I've had to cut down on in order to maintain a healthy weight.

In the last year I picked up a new hobby, line dancing, and I'm obsessed with it.  I've met a lot of cool people and some of my line dancing buddies have become great friends.  I'm always afraid that I look like an uncoordinated elephant trying too hard to blend in with the zebras, but I don't plan to stop any time soon.   

I am a workaholic.  There are many reasons and excuses for this.  There have been times in my life that I have used work to avoid dealing with personal issues including depression and loneliness.  Another reason is that a strong work ethic is very important to me.  One thing I want to be known for is how much I put into my service for others.  I never want anyone to call me lazy.


No matter how old I get I will always love to color.


Social work is not just a profession for me; it is a way of life.  I believe in worth and dignity of every person and the inherit right of everyone to be treated with respect.  Everyone experiences trials and trauma sometime in life.  Everyone has a story that has formed them into the person they are today.  I try to never judge somebody until I know more about their story.  If I can be of any help, I pray that God gives me the opportunity. 

I am extremely passionate.  It amuses me when someone says I'm non-emotional because I am one of the most emotional people you will ever meet.

I am afraid of the dark.  I hate not knowing what's around me and shadows will throw my wild imagination into stories about serial killers or demons.  I always have lights on in my house.


I am an extrovert.  I recharge by being around my friends and family.  I need to spend a lot of quality time with people, which means I have a lot of friends.  However, I still trust very few people with my emotions and insecurities.  There are only a handful of people I consider best friends. 

I am a worrier.  My mother understood my propensity to overanalyze and dwell on things at a very young age.  Therefore, she assigned Proverbs 3:5-6 to me as my life verses.  "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all of your ways acknowledge him, and He will direct your path."  I have a very wise mother.


Sometimes I get strong urges to bake!  And the batter is more fun to eat than the finished treat. 


I enjoy lifting weights and despise running.  I know I need the cardio as well, but running has always been a problem for me due to a mild hip displacia I had growing up.  Weight lifting helps me to strengthen the muscles and bones around my hips and back so they don't give me as much problems.


I cherish the joy and innocence that children bring to life.  Teenagers were my focus for the longest time and babies made me nervous.  As I've gotten older that has faded.  I'm still passionate about teenagers, but let me hold that baby!  My favorite age group has always been about 9-14.  They have no filter at that age.  Adults are still cool enough to talk to and they aren't above playing.


I do not like nuts of any kind.  Peanuts, walnuts, almonds...  As an adult I have come to tolerate them sometimes in my food, but as a child I was convinced that there were bones in my brownies, cookies, or candy.  Yuck!


Above all I am a child of God.  I know and understand that my purpose on earth is to serve God and bring glory to Him.  I am not an eloquent speaker.  I do not have my Bible memorized.  I struggle with my prayer life.  I am imperfect, but God is attracted to me because of my brokenness.  He loves me despite my faults.  And even though I don't meet the world's definition of what is beautiful, I will always be beautiful to Him. 

Brain Dead

I've had three weeks full of drama and crisis at work.  My brain is ready for a break.  By the time Friday arrived, I had turned into a zombie.  When I was with my friends I may have been present physically but I was not present mentally.  I could not attend to a conversation.  I could not make simple decisions about what I wanted to eat or drink.  And early this morning my mind decided to play some tricks on me. 

At 4 a.m. something suddenly woke me from a deep sleep.  As if it wasn't bad enough that I was dreaming about work, my thoughts became slightly irrational at this awful hour.  It had actually been storming, complete with thunder, lightening, and RAIN!  I got up to investigate what could have possibly woke me up.  I went to the front door and looked through the peep hole.  There was someone standing there!  Who would be standing at my door at 4 a.m.?!  And you better believe I'm NOT opening the door.  I went back to my room to get my phone (just in case).  I started sneaking around to a window where I could look out and they wouldn't see me.  I was careful not to turn on any lights so that they wouldn't know I was awake and aware they were there!  I looked out the window.... nothing!  Where did they go?!  Maybe the figure I saw through the peep hole was a ghost!  I went back to the peep hole and.... there it was....  Let's try a different window!  Nothing.  Then I realized: the street light, the rain, the reflection.  What I was seeing as a possible head and face was the reflection of a wet pavement under the street light.  Nothing to worry about, right?

So I went back to bed.  Still slightly anxious I began wondering again what had woke me up.  Could there be someone in my house?  When I first moved out of my parents house and into my first apartment I was always paranoid.  Every night I performed a routine of checking every room, every door, and every window, to make sure I was alone and I was safe.  There were times that I would get up at night just to check again.  Now that I've lived alone for several years I've become accustomed to it, but nights like this.... I got up, again trying not to turn on lights, and checked every room to make sure it was empty.  And they were empty.  So the mystery of why I was suddenly awake was not solved. 

Eventually I did go back to sleep but my brain was not done playing tricks on me.  I got up this morning, just like every Sunday morning, and began getting ready for church.  The church service I attend is at 11 a.m. and I had an hour to get ready.  I was eating some breakfast, catching up on some Olympics, and checking facebook, when I realized the clock on my computer said 11:03?!  What?!  How on earth did I just loose a complete hour?  Obviously the clock in my head was not in sync with the actual time.  Even though I had looked at the clock multiple times before that, it did not register. 

Maybe it's due to one of the worst droughts on record.   Maybe it's the persistent heat.   But something is impacting the sanity of people, and it's starting to take it's toll on me.  I am not functioning at full capacity!  This might be a frightening day for me to step foot outside the house.  But I will try to push through it and hope that this work week is just slightly more calm.

Hope Conquers Fear

I tend to get quiet when I'm processing a lot or having a difficult time, and I realized I haven't posted in a month. The last couple months have been difficult for me and as of right now I'm not sure where the end of the transition or adjustment will be. But there are a few words that keep jumping out at me during all of it... FEAR and HOPE. What does it mean?

Fear is the root of so many emotions. Anger can be rooted in the fear of being hurt or the fear of change. Jealousy is rooted in the fear of losing something. Depression is many times rooted in the fear of the unknown. It is so much easier to stay where it's comfortable, even in negative circumstances, because the unknown is terrifying! It cripples our ability to move forward and to take chances. It makes us a prisoner in our own lives.

But there's hope! There's hope that the circumstances surrounding me today are going to lead me into something better. Something grandeur. Possibly even something unimaginable for my human mind.

This verse has been ringing in my mind, "Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer." Romans 12:12. While I wade through life's growing pains, relying on God's strength to carry me, I should REJOICE. I will rejoice in all the promises God has made me. I rejoice in the hope that there's a purpose for affliction. I rejoice that I'm HIS child and that I'm protected by the Spirit.

If I live in God's will today, tomorrow will take care of itself. The hope that I rejoice in is that the Lord's will is going to bring me more happiness than I could ever experience if I were the one in control of my life. Allow hope to conquer fear so that tomorrow is overwhelmed with JOY.