Conquer!

During my devotions, sometimes a single word will jump out at me. The word of today...

Conquer.

 

It's a strong word.

 

"For this is what love for God is: to keep His commands. Now His commands are not a burden, because whatever has been born of God conquers the world. This is the victory that has conquered the world: our faith."

1 John 5:4

 

Because I have been born of God; because I have the Love of God living inside me; because of my faith in Christ as the Son of God; He tells me I can conquer the world. I have victory.

 

This world can be so discouraging. Some days are so long. Some days go too fast. Stress. Exhaustion. Heartache. People we love are in pain. Friends are going through trials.

 

But, as a child of God and because of His great Love, He says... CONQUER!

Memories of Dad

Memories of my dad on Father's Day:

 

Back in the day!

 

It's his fault I LOVE basketball. When I was 12 years old he wanted me to play on a park board team. I was resistant and had absolutely no desire to play sports. So we made a deal... If he would be my coach, I would play basketball. And the rest is history...

When I was little there were two magic words that could get me anything I wanted when put together... "Daaaddyyyy, PLEEEEEEASE!"

When I wore holes into my black high-top Reeboks, he bought me another pair. It didn't matter that they were probably more than he could afford.

My dad LOVES animals. He tries to play tough but he's an even bigger softy than we are.


My parents have always gotten us Easter baskets. They were delivered by Dad, which usually meant him hopping like a bunny from his bed room, a basket in each hand.



Working a parade

There are a few perks to being the child of a police officer, such as free ride tickets at the fair. When we were little we got to go to work with dad when there was a parade. It was like having front row seats at a concert :-) At the end of the parade he would pull in behind the procession. I would pretend I was the guest of honor and wave to everyone as we drove by. I was IN the parade!

  

One thing Dad and I always shared was a love for roller coasters. He and I can ride one after another after another together.

Oh the lectures... Fatality car accidents, teenagers getting into bad situations, abuse and neglect, etc. Being the child of a police officer also means being told about all the things that MIGHT happen.

Dad has always enjoyed trying to embarrass me. When I was in the 3rd grade, we went to the school book fair. Dad approached the boy I had a crush on and asked the poor 9-year-old 'what are your intentions with my daughter?' I was absolutely mortified! 

I don't know if he remembers this but it's also his fault that I went into Social Work. I was helping him deliver a semi truck one day and we were discussing what major I should choose. My school would no longer allow me to be undecided. He asked me if I'd considered Social Work.... hmmmm.... There's an option! I began looking into the possibility. Again, the rest is history...

 

If school was cancelled due to ice or snow, my dad drove around and picked up teenagers from the church. We were delivered to the homes of the elderly from church so we could shovel their driveways. Then we played! Which usually meant pulling saucers behind the vehicle in the fields. 

Not only was Dad our chauffeur during snow days, but also in the not so rare event of toilet papering other members of the youth department or members of the church. He would drop off a carload of kids; drive around; and return to pick us up when we were finished. 

Gangster

One of Dad's favorite things to yell when I was playing basketball was, "God gave you those hips for a reason! Use them!" Everyone heard him.

My dad has always been willing to rescue me. In college I locked my keys in the car while it was running; he drove all the way to Bolivar to unlock it. When critters get under my house or I think I hear someone outside late at night, he drives into town to take a look around. He'd rather be safe than sorry!

Dad bought my first car. And my second. And my third. He needs to be needed ;-)

My first year of college I was waitressing at local restaurant and I was miserable. I broke down crying one Sunday because I was working, AGAIN, and not able to go to church. I hadn't been to church in almost 2 months! I called my dad and he said, "Quit." He told me I had the rest of my life to work. I needed to focus on my first year of college and he would take care of everything.

My dad is a talker! I was forced many times to wait on him while he finished talking. He would hand me the car keys (this was before I had a license) and tell me to practice driving around the parking lot.

Dad loved this; I can't say we felt the same. The boat once broke down in the middle of the lake. While he pulled from the front, my sister and I pushed from the back. We waded through dirty, moss filled water to get the boat back to the dock. My swimming suit was ruined. But Dad... he had the time of his life :-P

Dad had a '67 Chevy pickup for a while. Of all times for him to choose for me to practice driving, he once picked a day he was taking me to an open gym. I had been lifting weights and working out all week. My muscles were already sore! I was tense and nervous driving his old pick-up into town; I could not mess up that truck. Not good for already sore muscles!

Dad loves to teach. He's been involved in teaching many different Sunday School classes. But I've always told him he attracts the misfits. He adopts the people and families that don't fit anywhere else. Some of the families may not have extended family support and he turns into 'grandpa'. That's his special niche.
 

 I guess one of the biggest memories of my dad will always be that he was my youth director at church for most of my teenage years. That almost always meant a house full of teenagers. It sometimes meant sharing my bedroom with displaced kids. And... whether I liked it or not, many other kids called him DAD.

Father's Day 2013

 

 

Then and Now

I have become obsessed with the Psalms lately. The writers are honest about how they are feeling. Nothing is held back from God.

  

One night back in March, I came home angry. I spent the night crying out to God. In my weakness I asked 'why?' It was no coincidence that the next morning a friend sent me scripture that depicted exactly how I was feeling.

 

Psalm 6

O Lord, don't rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in you rage.

Have compassion on me Lord, for I am weak.

Heal me Lord for my bones are in agony.

I am sick at heart. How long O Lord, until you restore me?

Return, O Lord, and rescue me. Save me because of your unfailing love.

For the dead do not remember you. Who can praise you from the grave?

I am worn out from sobbing. All night I flood my bed with weeping,

drenching it with my tears.

My vision is blurred by grief; my eyes are worn out because of all my enemies.

Go away, all you who do evil, for the Lord has heard my weeping.

The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord will answer my prayer.

May all my enemies be disgraced and terrified. May they suddenly turn back in shame.

 

At the beginning of the year I had embarked on a spiritual journey, and Satan was seeking to destroy my joyfulness and my spirit. I do plan to share parts of this journey with you by revealing exerpts from my personal journal really soon. But today I want you to know that Psalm 6 is not my current state. Today, almost 3 months later, I find another Psalm:

 

Psalm 116

I love the Lord because He has heard my appeal for mercy.

Because He has turned His ear to me, I will call out to Him as long as I live.

The ropes of death were wrapped around me, and the torments of Sheol overcame me;

I encountered trouble and sorrow.

Then I called on the name of Yahweh: "Yahweh, save me!"

The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is compassionate.

The Lord guards the inexperienced; I was helpless, and He saved me.

Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.

For You, Lord, rescued me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling.

I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living.

I believed, even when I said, "I am severely afflicted."

In my alarm I said, "Everyone is a liar."

How can I repay the Lord for all the good He has done for me?

I will take the cup of salvation and call on the name of Yahweh.

I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all His people.

The death of His faithful ones is valuable in the Lord's sight.

Lord, I am indeed Your servant; I am Your servant, the son of your female servant.

You have loosened my bonds.

I will offer You a sacrifice of thanksgiving and call on the name of Yahweh.

I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all His people,

in the courts of the Lord's house - within you Jerusalem.

Hallelujah!

One thing the Psalms are reminding me is that I can pour out my emotions before God, both good and bad. I can cry to Him in my helplessness and sadness. I can ask 'why' when I'm angry. And I can laugh with Him in joy. He is my Father and my Friend. But at the end of each one, the psalmists always praise God. He's still glorified for who He is, what He's done, and what He's going to do.

Remember. Remember the past and how the Lord has blessed you. Remember the pain, and remember the joy.

I look at the difference in these two Psalms. Each of them depict the emotions I was feeling at two different points in time. Praise God for His deliverance. I cannot repay what He has done for me, but I can follow through with the commitment I've made to follow and serve Him.

 



The Compassion of a Heavenly Father

The Lord has so many attributes it is difficult for the human brain to comprehend everything He is. I have to admit that sometimes I focus so much on Him as Sovereign, Holy, Righteous, Wise, Eternal, Omnipotent... And I forget some of the more personal attributes: Longsuffering, Merciful, Faithful, Loving, Truthful... Compassionate.

Let this term sink in for a second... FATHER.

"As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust." ~Psalm 103:13-14 NIV

 

A father is many things. A protector. A provider. A leader. A disciplinarian. But how often do we remember that a father is also someone who shows sympathy, mercy, and compassion to his children?

I looked up the definition of compassion: "sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it."

A father hates to see his child go through trials and and tests in life. Some fathers are so protective they seek out ways to keep any hurt from reaching their children. And if pain happens to impact a child, the father hurts right along with the child. A father wants to alleviate distress.

Our heavenly Father is no different. He feels our pain and has compassion on us as His children. He wants to take away the hurt.

Father's Day is next weekend (in case you forgot.) Some have earthly fathers who seek to be the example the Lord has set. Some don't. Whichever category you fall into, there is a heavenly Father who is willing to protect you, provide for you, guide you, and have compassion on you.

I hope you have a personal relationship with the Lord so that you can call Him Father.  



Going Good Blues

I'm pretty sure I could have one of the strangest fears of all fears... The fear of being too happy.

 

I love Reba. I'm not necessarily talking about Reba McEntire the country singer (even though she is one of the classiest women in entertainment.) But I love Reba, the sitcom. In one of the episodes, Reba perfectly described this very unique fear of mine... 'the going good blues.'

 

What are the 'going good blues'?

"The feeling we all get when things are going really good, but we're just waiting for things to go bad." ~Reba

Perhaps my fear isn't necessarily of being happy as much as what comes after the natural high of things going well, feeling blessed, and having fun. If I allow myself to feel joy, success, enjoyment, satisfaction, delight, contentment... Then sadness, grief, disappointment, dissatisfaction, and discontentment might soon follow.

That's really what I want to avoid.

However, I can tell you from experience that completely shutting off emotions in order to avoid the negative feelings is also not a fun place to be. It's lonely there and there's no satisfaction in it.

It is not the Lord's will that we live in fear, especially the fear of being happy. He wants us to celebrate the blessings He has given us and the salvation we have found in Him. Christ tells us in John, "I have spoken these things to you so that My joy may be in you and your joy may be complete." (John 15:11)

So, in the words of Reba, "The key is not to worry about what could go wrong, but just enjoy all the things that are going right."

Marinating in the Word

"He doesn't want us to just meditate on His Word; you might say he wants us to marinate in it!"

 

What a strong mental picture has just been painted in my mind. Can you picture it...

 

The big BBQ is planned for Saturday and it's going to be a celebration. There will be corn on the cob, baked potatoes, pasta salad, potato salad, sweet tea, brownies, cookies, and ice cream. Because this is a special BBQ, there won't be any hamburgers or hot dogs. Instead we are going to have steak and chicken! Saturday morning, or maybe even Friday night, the meat is completely submerged in a homemade marinade. The juices and seasonings are soaked deep into the meat in order to give it the richest flavor possible.

 

Are you hungry yet?

 

A few months ago I was struggling with several different things and I was completely lost in what I should do. There were many sleepless nights; four a.m. and I became really good friends. There were times throughout the day that I became overwhelmed with emotion. And, I didn't want to be around people.

 

The only thing I knew to do was immerse myself in the only constant we have here on earth, the Word. I had two Bible studies going at one time. Prayer was essential all day long. And throughout the day, no matter where I was, I would read scripture from the Bible app on my phone. (There's one way that a smart phone can be used to glorify God!)

 

I was marinating my soul in the Word so that the rich flavors of Jesus Christ would be alive in my life. And I'm happy to report that I have returned to a state of joy with a heart full of God's love.  

"I have spoken these things to you so that My joy may be in you and your joy may be complete."

~John 15:11

 

"I keep the Lord in my mind always. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my spirit rejoices; my body also rests securely. You reveal the path of life to me; in Your presence is abundant joy; in Your right hand are eternal pleasures."

~Psalm 16:8,9,11

 

Overcoming Heaviness

"Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame and has sat down at the right hand of God's throne."
Hebrews 12:1-2

For the last three months, burdens have weighed me down. My nature is to help people and solve problems; and my natural personality is to worry and become anxious. The heaviness causes me to lose focus on the positives surrounding me and I begin to feel out of control. So the first thought that jumps at me from this scripture is to "lay aside every weight" ... To give up control... To know that Jesus Christ bears my burdens... I need to be reminded of this regularly; it is an ongoing struggle in my life.

As the heaviness of burdens overwhelm me, the word JOY leaps out. Jesus Christ endured the ultimate suffering on the cross, and He did it with joy. I've been looking at prayer a lot recently, and I've studied the prayer of Jesus at Gethsemane just before Judas betrayed Him. Overcome with sorrow and the heaviness of the burden He was carrying, Jesus asked God to take it away. This is so familiar to me! But Jesus knew he had to endure the pain to fulfill God's plan so He ends the prayer with "Yet not as I will, but as You will." How difficult that must have been for Him to say. How difficult that is for me to say in my own prayer life when I'm begging God to change my circumstances! I've been challenged recently to use this phrase in my prayer life to turn my attitude toward God's will, away from my own will, and to find joy in heartache.

Recently I have been encouraged by fellow believers. These are people that don't know me, but I see love in their actions. Even though I haven't shared what's on my heart, they have asked how I'm doing and wait to actually hear an answer. They've prayed for me and with me. And I've been pushed out of my comfort zone more than once in recent months. I thank God for them. I watch in amazement as God performs miracles in each of their lives and I desire to be a part of it. It is such an encouragement to be surrounded by "a large cloud of witnesses"; it's something I've been missing for a very long time.

After laying aside the weights, focusing on the joy of fulfilling God's will for my life, and leaning on the cloud of witnesses surrounding me, I will be able to "run with endurance the race."

I'm definitely not perfect, but I strive towards the perfection of Christ every day. These verses tell me how to overcome the heaviness of the burdens that sometimes paralyze me. Hopefully, I can use even the difficult circumstances to bring glory to God.

Spiritual Birthday

The other day it dawned on me that I had a mile marker of a spiritual birthday this year! I don't know why it came to mind. Perhaps it was the Easter holiday. Maybe I was thinking about the end of my birthday month or that it was my sister's birthday. Knowing how randomly my mind tracks from one thought to the next I could have been thinking about the cold or the rain or that my favorite color is purple.

Twenty-five years ago... yes that is a quarter of a century ago... I asked for God to forgive me and for Jesus to be Lord of my life.


My story...

I was 6 years old and in the first grade. At the time we were living in a 2 bedroom duplex near the airport in St. Louis. My dad had recently gotten out of the Air Force and was trying to find full-time employment so we were moving around quite a bit.

In the weeks leading up to THE BIGGEST DECISION OF MY LIFE, my mother's grandmother had passed away. For an analytical 6 year old child, there were questions about death and heaven and hell. My mother would answer my questions, and then she allowed me the time to think on the answer.

I am a very blessed girl because I had Godly parents that made sure I was in church every Sunday from the time I came home from the hospital. I knew who God was. I knew that Jesus Christ was the Son of God. I knew that Jesus died on a cross because He loved me.

At one point I made the comment to my mother that if we all died I'd be the only one not to go to heaven. I knew that I did not have the relationship with God that I needed in order to spend eternity with Him and my family.

I don't remember my mother's grandmother dying or the funeral. I don't remember all the questions I asked or the things I said. But let me tell you what I do remember...

One night I was getting ready for bed. It was a normal night in the middle of the week. I brushed my teeth and went to say goodnight to my mom with my shadow of a little sister right on my heels. As I walked into the living room, I remember saying "Mom, I want to get saved." I knelt on my knees at the coffee table and I prayed. I prayed that God would forgive me for my sins and that Jesus would be Lord of my life.

It was that simple.

I've heard Christians say that children can't get saved. I did. Religion sometimes puts so many complications on salvation. But it doesn't have to be complicated. It isn't complicated.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

"That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved." Romans 10:9.

Sometimes I start to believe that my testimony isn't very powerful. I haven't experienced tragedy or great loss. I've not suffered through addictions or a long list of unhealthy relationships. I don't have a story about how horrible my life was before I turned it over to God.

What my testimony does say is believe that Jesus loves you; believe in His death and resurrection; confess your need for Him; and you too can spend eternity with Christ.

I don't think I could have survived the ups and downs of life without my relationship with Christ to carry me through it. My faith is sometimes the only thing that gets me up in the morning. My faith has led me to a life of service through Social Work. And I will testify that I am enormously blessed because of the decision I made that night twenty-five years ago.

HAPPY SPIRITUAL BIRTHDAY!

I'm Anyone

"Be serious! Be alert! Your adversary the Devil is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour." 1 Peter 5:8

Guess what?! I'm anyone...

At the beginning of the year I posed the question will this be the one? I found myself at a standstill in my relationship with God. I prayed that this new year would ultimately bring me to a new level in my relationship with Christ.

Unfortunately, the last several weeks have been one blow after another. I feel like I'm under attack, and I'm exhausted! It has come from all different directions... emotionally, mentally, financially, socially, physically... and it repeats itself a few times. 

Despite my struggle to not let anyone know details of my life and my extreme fear of being vulnerable, here I am writing and sharing my sadness and discouragement with my readers... but more importantly declaring the devil will not win!


What am I doing???

Distress causes me a lot of problems with eating and sleeping. Whether it's from God or Satan, when I'm awakened at 4 a.m. I instantly start praying. I pray that God takes the pain from me, but if He doesn't that it's used to make me more like Him. I pray for whoever is on my mind when I immediately awake hoping that they allow God to meet their need. If my mind still refuses rest, I get up and spend the next few hours reading and writing and praying. I can testify that it has helped me to be extra prepared for the battles of the day.

"God don't let my pain be wasted. Use it to conform me to your image."

Ironically (okay not ironically but by grand design), I have been doing a Bible study by Linda Dillow called "Calm My Anxious Heart." Let go of my worry and fear... how?! Find contentment in my circumstances... are you serious?!

It's a daily struggle, especially with Satan's persistence, to practice what I am learning. I have typed important scriptures and reminders in my phone from these lessons. Every time I become overwhelmed with circumstances, I read the notes and remind myself to be content in any situation, to focus on the positives, and that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

In my latest blog 'one breath at a time', I talked about trying to just get through the day. I may start the day ready to conquer Satan's darts but halfway through I begin to falter. The only thing I can do during this time of battle is to take one step at a time... "Lord am I in Your will now?"

Another coincidence (not) is that the UCB Word for Today has been publishing a series this week on winning your personal war with Satan using the following outline:
     - Be self-controlled and alert. 1 Peter 5:8
     - Submit yourselves to God. James 4:7
     - Resist the devil... he will flee from you. James 4:7
     - Come near to God and He will come near to you. James 4:8
     - Wash your hands, you sinners. James 4:8


My number one defense against Satan is to immerse myself in my Lord. While I'm afriad of what might happen next, I fight for the hope. The hope is found in the thoughts the Lord has toward me for peace, not evil (Jeremiah 29:11).

I have a scripture on my wall as I walk out the front door that says, "Be not afraid not dismayed by reason of this great multitude; for the battle is not yours, but God's" 2 Chronicles 20:15. It is my reminder that today's battle is not mine to fight and control. Because He is Lord of my life, He will fight the battle. Today's battle is just a small one in the war between God and Satan... And I know who wins the war!

"But when the darkness of dismay comes, endure until it is over, because out of it will come the ability to follow Jesus truly, which brings inexpressibly wonderful joy."

 

One Breath at a Time

The theme of the day... one breath at a time.

A very close friend of mine returned to work this week after her dream of becoming a mother finally came true. She is heartbroken at the thought of leaving her baby girl with a babysitter, and trying to come to terms that, at least for now, it is not God's plan for her be a stay at home mom. Because I'm not a mother, I can only imagine the pain she must be feeling.

I noticed someone make a comment to her "Take it one day at a time, some days are as little as one breath at a time." And I began thinking...

How many times have I heard someone say 'I just want to know God's plan for my life.' We all want a divine revelation about what the future holds so that we know the exact step we should take next in order to get there. And following this expression of frustration, I've often given the advice to be in God's will today. If you are in His will today; you will move on into His will tomorrow; and before you know it you will be smack in the middle of God's plan for your life.

I believe this is exactly what my new momma friend sought to accomplish. She and her husband sought the Lord's will to become parents for years. Unable to conceive a child they began praying and searching for His divine plan. There's no doubt it was a daily search. And that daily seeking of Him brought them straight into His plan... adopting Baby BB.

However, this concept of one breath at a time, struck a chord. I am beyond overwhelmed with my job this week. My brain is running at warp speed. (I think my superpower is having the brain activity of two or three people!)

In the UCB's Word for Today, the author talks about praying for God's will every two or three minutes. This brings reality to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thess. 5:17). The prayers that can be whispered to God any where, any time, are the ones that get us through the tough days. And they not only keep us in His will from day to day, but from moment to moment.

I remember a time in my life that my conversations with God were constant; and I want to return there. While I'm attempting to hurry through the line at the grocery store, I can thank Him for the ability to buy those comfort foods! As I'm sitting in a difficult meeting, I can ask God to let my words speak grace and mercy to both those easy and those difficult in the room.

As life overwhelms me, I am challenged with this new concept to not only be in His will today, but to be in His will this moment. "Some days are as little as one breath at a time..."

The Fear Trap

"The fear of man is a snare: but the one who trusts in the Lord is protected." ~Proverbs 29:25

Satan would love for me to live in fear... fear that money will run out before the end of the month... fear that loved ones will be taken away... fear that a strange noise outside the house at night is a lurking serial killer... fear that I'll never have my own family... fear of how something I said may have been received... fear that I've brought home parasitic insects from a client's house... fear that if I allow myself to be happy I will only end up in pain...

"For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment." ~2 Timothy 1:7

Fear is a trap laid by a very skilled hunter. It holds me back from experiencing true joy and perfect peace. It leads me to poor judgment. And, I begin using anger to mask it.

If I truly TRUST God is who He says He is, there is no room for fear. He is my Father, my Friend, my Counselor, my Savior, my Protector, my Provider... my ALL. He will keep me safe. He will give me strength.

"Trust ye in the Lord for ever: for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength." ~Isaiah 26:4

Roller Coaster

Watch at your own risk!

 

I have a tendency to get caught up in contemplating the 'what ifs' that can happen in my life.

The emotions launch me into a roller coaster. As my car climbs the first incline, anticipation and excitement builds. Suddenly, I crest the top of the railroad mountain to find pure terror waiting for me. My heart drops to my stomach, and I scream. The car jerks me to the right with laughter and joy, only to unexpectedly move left with fear. For kicks and thrills, someone has thrown in a few vertical loops, which has always been my favorite part of the ride!

The entire ride I find myself disoriented. I'm not sure what to expect next.

As I started my week yesterday, with the voice in my head screaming 'I don't wanna!', the Lord revealed my theme for the week:

"You will keep the mind that is dependent on You in perfect peace, for it is trusting in You."

Isaiah 26:3

 

"Commit your activities to the Lord, and your plans will be achieved."

Proverbs 16:3

Emotions are so unpredictable, especially mine. So as I pray for God to calm my anxious heart, I remember to focus my activities on fulfilling His purpose. If I do that, the 'what ifs' in my future will be His. If I do that, I will find perfect peace.

One Year Down

A year ago I started a new journey. In hopes of renewing my love of writing, I decided to start a blog. I have been pleasantly surprised at how well it has gone and proud that I was able to stick with it for a whole year.

As I've learned a little bit about blogging I have tweaked my writing style so that hopefully it's easier to read. I've encountered some very encouraging people that have been faithful in reading my ramblings, and I've been pleasantly surprised by a few that say they keep up with it. 

Even though it's great to know that I've been able to encourage a few people, I want to keep in mind the reason I started writing in the first place. You can read my very first blog here. This has become my own therapeutic outlet, and helping others is just a side benefit.

Over the last year I have written about daily activities and stressful events. I've allowed myself to be vulnerable in sharing lessons God is teaching me. I started a little series on my thoughts about being a single woman. And I continue to share my thoughts about self-value and beauty.

Some of the topics have developed over time. At times it seems I can't get my thoughts into the computer fast enough. Other times I have topics started but I can't quite get them to a point that they're ready to be posted.

So do I continue for another year... Why not?! I imagine it will be a lot of the same, but I'm okay with that. I'm still growing and learning; I continue to struggle with vulnerability, but it's a battle I need to win; and I want to connect with more people that may be just like me.

If you're reading this Thank You for sticking with me. And now we continue....

This Morning's Thoughts

I wrote this in my journal this morning and then thought it might be worth sharing...

Proverbs 14:26
In the fear of the Lord is strong confidence: and his children shall have a place of refuge.

I need refuge today as I fear what the consequences may be for my actions. Lord knows I hate to be in trouble and sometimes my own guilt is worse than the discipline I might receive. As a child of God I have confidence that He is in control. No matter what happens today... despite my mistakes... He will work out His plan.

Will This Be The One

2013! A new year! Hopefully, I'm not the only one that thinks that sounds strange.

The idea of a new year has been consuming my thoughts. "New" indicates change. Change is very difficult for me; good or bad it can be stressful. But I feel I'm at a point in my life that I want change to happen.

I want to continue moving forward. I want to grow. I do not want to remain the same or to become complacent with where I am at in life.

In my devotion a few weeks ago, the question was asked "What was the year that changed your life?" What year brought divine revelations that forever changed your relationship with Christ? Have you had one yet?

"Pray this is one." Pray this is the year that you will be forever changed.

I am not one to declare new year's resolutions; but I do know I want to be better. I want to be a better daughter, a better sister, a better friend, a better supervisor, a better listener, a better helper, a better giver... a better Christian. I want to be full of joy.

The way I will be "better" is to draw closer to God and to lose myself in His will. It is there that I will find peace, comfort, and joy, no matter what happens.

"Happy are the people whose God is Yahweh."

Psalms 144:15

 

"...and the one who trusts in the Lord will be happy."

Proverbs 16:20

 

"I have spoken these things to you so that My joy may be in you and your joy may be complete."

John 15:11

 

If anyone asks what I hope to accomplish this year, my only hope is that I am able to complete God's will for me every day.